I'll be home...

I'm sitting in my mom's kitchen in her new hourse right now, staying up too late after I spent the day playing with my friends.

Someone explain to me why at 30 years old, with a job and home and life of my own, I am sitting here in a house I never lived in feeling terribly homesick. When does the place your parents live stop feeling like home?

A pretty great state

I've been in Utah for three days and so far I've eaten at Cafe Rio, driven through Red Rock Country, had an amazing run to the top of The Avenues, tried on vintage dresses at Decades, gone to parties with college and high school friends, and stayed up late with my family.

Eight days of awesome to go.

All You Can Eat

A sure fire way to make sure Monday doesn't completely suck is to have a sushi party on "all you can eat for 19.95 night" in Laguna Beach.

It was Corey's birthday this week so we rounded up some of our raw fish loveing friends to take advantage of crazy amounts of sushi for not very much moola. The boys were nice enough to sacrifice Monday Night Football for the occasion but Jimmy still managed to spend a fair amount of time facing the televsion.

But Curtis managed to tear himself away long enough to smile
Rob and Mark tried their best "Doud" faces. Mark did a pretty good job, Rob looks like he's headed for a sushi coma.
Corey has made a New Year's resolution to close her mouth in photos so she's living it up right now.
Rob tried to pretend he was too cool to be moved by my show of affection (but we had to take that photo about five times for him to get the right "bored" look so you do the math.)

We ate so much I'm pretty sure that place will be shutting down this promotion pretty much any day now, but until then-I have a new favorite FHE activity.

Barry Effin Gibb!

Saturday Night Live is not a very funny show.

However, the holiday episode Saturday night was like a little comedy treasure. Justin Timberlake hosted and was in pretty much every single skit. Between "Homelessville", The SNL Digital Short, and The Barry Gibb Talk Show I was practically in tears. You take JT, you add in a surprise visit from Jimmy Fallon, two great musical numbers, and plenty of Seth Meyers all over the news and frankly, I can't think of a better hour of television.

Thanks Santa.

Humbled

So if you happen to be planning a pity party for yourself anytime soon, I suggest you try avoid the double whammy of seeing "Pursuit of Happyness" one night and attending a church Christmas program the next. Otherwise, you might find yourself making lists of things you are thankful for and realizing that the things you were whining about lately might be relatively minor in the grand scheme of what you have.

Exhibit A

Gospel
Family
Friends
A good job (that sometimes makes me crazy but ultimately has been pretty amazing)
my car
my house
shoes
good weather
money for fun things
my ipod
my computer
my camera
email
cell phones
good parents
rock star sister's in law
a college education
the beach
salt lake
my time in boston
christmas cards
music
freedom of speech and thought
right to vote
indoor plumbing
health insurance
strong, healthy body
free time
fresh fruit and vegatables year round
logan's missionary email
opportunities to love and be loved
airplanes
tivo
stores that knock off designer clothing
raises
good bosses
coworkers i like and respect
promotions
good interviews
vacations
road trips
fish tacos
flowers
christmas songs
books
journals
blogs
google chat
boys
proactive solution
origins makeup
my amazing hair stylist
beach cruisers
The Sugar Shack
T.K. Burger
Diet Coke
new shoes
peppermint hot chocolate
long runs
babies
hot showers
the Temple
mission presidents who stay in touch
first kisses
The Olympics
spock
being able to donate blood again
photos
my eyelashes
well-cut jeans
occasions to dress up
sub-for-santa
pretty stationary
skirts
patriarchal blessings
knitting
red sox games
mix CD's
crepe parties
live music
candles
good movies
text messaging
dark chocolate
nutella
sushi
expense accounts
beds at the Westin hotels
haircolor
cheap O.C. pedicures
massages
houseguests
missions
washing machines
vaccines
hymns
PCH
New York Super Fudge Chunk

Striptease

Single Mormon Style.

Fast Car

For reasons I would rather not blab to the internet at large, it's been a particularly emotional few weeks around my house. Oftentimes it seems like a disappointment or a concern in one area of your life can spill over and affect other seemingly unrelated things. I think that's all it is but lately I find myself feeling a bit irritable, letting little things bother me that I am usually able to brush off. I am frustrated with the way I feel but I also know that sometimes you just have to ride out these moments, let your brain or your heart work out the things it needs to and wait to feel like yourself again.

It will come as no surprise that I like to use music as a way to draw out emotions I've buried or don't know what to do with. Tonight I found myself drawn to my old Tracy Chapman CD's. I realize that almost no male on earth is able to understand the allure of Ms. Chapman but I have loved her since about fifth grade when I first heard "Fast Car" and couldn't quite figure out if she was a boy or girl . I feel like I've grown up with her, from her first more political, questioning protest CD, to her quieter and more spiritual work later on-I always find truth and comfort in her lyrics. My sister and I went to see her in Salt Lake a long time ago and although I think we were some of the few straight women in the audience, the show was near perfect. Just Ms. Chapman and a small band playing pretty much everything off every record.

Anyway, I grabbed her self-titled album on my way out the door this evening and ended up sitting in my car and not going into the activity I had planned to attend because I was too busy sobbing through this track. It was partially the familiarity, I have listened to that song so many times in so many different times of my life so there was is definitely a comfort in hearing it. But the lyrics sunk particularly deep tonight:

"deep in my heart, safe from the guards of intellect and reason"

I catch myself wishing sometimes that feelings made more sense. That they could follow some kind of logic. That I could say to myself, "this is no longer a thing that it is good and right for you to feel so it ends now." And then I would turn it off and move and that would be that. But I guess a wise Creator knew that would not be a good way for all of our feelings to work. So He placed some of them just outside of our control.

"but with feelings this strong, i am no longer the master of my emotions"

Because if I am honest with myself, I am glad that intellect and reason have played only a peripheral role in most of the major decisions in my life. I enjoy being a person who has been led my what felt right for me, not by what looked logical to everyone else. With all of it's ups and downs, it has been a rich and fulfilling way to live. But it is also an exhausting lifestyle and one that can wear down those close to me. And on occasion, I end up a little worn down as well. I've been sick all week and although there is a bug going around my house and my office, I think perhaps it is also a little bit of me sputtering out at the end of a high octane year. It will be really nice to be in Utah for Christmas for the first time in a couple of years. It will be nice not to think about selling shoes for awhile.

I think it's time for some real rest.

10:14

I'm not sure what to make of this but for the last week, I always seem to be looking at the clock on my cell phone at 10:14, both am and pm.

10/14 is my birthday. Maybe if I try to go for an even 30 times looking at the clock night and day at that precise minute the universe will implode or something?

Bug

So two things got sick this weekend-me, and my work laptop.

I have the sniffles and a sore throat, the computer got something that made it shut down everytime I tried to use the internet. It also suffers from an ongoing case of "I don't recognize cameras, scanner, or jump drives unless you log-on as administrator and thus, have lost quite a bit of my user-friendliness". The sniffles managed to sideline me on Monday and I spent the day in bed and then turned over the computer to the IT department first thing Tuesday morning. As is often the case with computer diseases, it ended up taking longer than originally anticipated and I got very little done yesterday.

I got here this morning and my first visitor was the IT guy. Telling me that he kinda sorta maybe forgot that I am on a different exchange than the rest of the company because I came from the Boston office and well, all of my emails since September 9 are gone. Gone. Deleted.

And I'm not sure how to react. I've worked on ALOT of important projects in the last three months and I use my email as a filing system. I keep alot of attachments and things I need in there instead of in my hard drive because I trust the IT guys to back it up. I'm so angry and want to yell at someone one minute and the next minute I just feel sort of ill about everything I've lost. And I know mistakes happen and assigning blame doesn't do any good but I can't even begin to imagine how long it's going to take me to dig out of this hole. And what is going to fall through the cracks because I can't comb through my emails every night like I usually do.

That and the lingering sniffles sort of have me mad at the world right now.

Is this a sign?

You Belong in San Francisco

You crave an eclectic, urban environment. You're half California, half NYC. You're open minded, tolerant, and secretly think you're the best. People may dismiss you as a hippie, but you're also progressive and interesting

Where Does Your Inner Californian Belong?

'Tis the Season

There comes a time in every girl's life when she finally lives in a house that doesn't feel like a student apartment and thus, no longer wants Christmas decorations that look like they were all cast-offs from someone's 1987 theme party. Also, if she happens to live in Southern California, lovely decorations will probably be her only reminder that it is indeed the holiday season as every day is pretty much some variation of this:
So last weekend I talked Corey into letting me use her for her jeep and we went to Home Depot to get a Christmas tree.
Then we saw these little guys and decided, "who needs TREE, when you can have TREES!"
So we ended up buying three little trees and a whole bunch of poinsetta plants for the window seat in my living room. Live trees smell so good, don't drop needles all over, and allow for a little variety in decorating.
I decided on a monochromatic theme. Gold.
Blue
Red.
OK, so maybe this is in no danger of showing up in Martha Stewart Living anytime soon but I love my little trees.
And the new red vase I also couldn't resist!

And as an early Christmas present to all of you, here is one of my favorite holiday songs of all time,Valley Winter Song by Fountains of Wayne

Merry Merry!

The Wedding Singer

This movie gets better every single time I see it.

"Billy Idol gets it!"

Here Kitty Kitty

Ok, I know the cat was photoshopped into this picture but everything about this photo is cracking me up today. And the freaked out feline is the least of it. I have been that child on the left-one year at Lake Powell my friend Matt's dad loaded three of us onto what he called "The Death Biscuit" and proceeded to drive the boat so fast and so furiously that Vin Diesel himself couldn't have caught us. We bounced and skidded across the wake and screamed our little lungs out until he finally managed to shake the death grips we had on that thing. We flew off and I almost knocked out my tooth on the head of the girl next to me. I imagine we probably looked a lot like the kid in the middle who is going to be nearly hysterical when she tells her mom how high she bounced before she almost drown. And her father will be trying desperately not to laugh while she cries.

I seriously can't wait to have kids.

Game Over

Well our bi-yearly Sales Meetings wrapped up today with a three hour "next steps" discussion with our CEO and the management team. It started at 7:00 this morning and after a week of presentations and meetings and tons and tons of feedback on product and programs, I'm pretty drained.

Excited though. It's fun to be around the reps, to see them get excited about things we are doing, to have a GM with a great vision and the plan to get us there. But I heard myself say "win-win" today and well, I think it's probably just about time for Christmas vacation.

So Naive

The first 10 seconds of this song are my favorite 10 seconds of anything right now

A riddle

What do you get when you cross three inch heels, a cell phone, a dark parking lot, a distracted girl, and a crack in the sidewalk hidden by a pile of leaves?

One nasty sprain. That's what you get. Stuck on the couch on a wednesday night, which incidently is possibly the WORST night to be parked in front of the television because there is nothing good on, watching your poor little foot swell up like a puffer-fish.

So much for running off that four day calorie fest we call "Thanksgiving vacation".

Trouble

The problem with having four delightful Thanksgiving guests who you love and adore come to your house for four delightful days is that when they leave, your house feels awfully empty.

I don't think anyone can really blame you if you sit in your room and sift through photos and listen to late eighties George Michael and shed a tear or two.

Little brothers

should never be trusted

Here We Come

Walking down the street

Doctor/Lawyer/Firefighter

When I was a little girl I wanted to be a veterinarian when I grew up. Then I got to high school and decided I wanted to be an actress. Then I got to college and studies Advertisting and Public Relations because it seemed like a cool and sophisticated profession and a way for someone with a creative brain to actually pay the bills.

So now I'm a grown up and I'm not a veterinarian, and I'm not an actress and when someone asked me to explain my five year plan in my industry I wasn't sure how to answer.

And I'm not really sure how to figure it out.

On Notice

Bless you Mr. Colbert.

Losing it

Yesterday I spent the morning running errands and going to the gym.

Then I spent the afternoon returning to not one but two of the stores I visited in the morning to collect the purchases I had left at the checkstand.

Thanksgiving vacation is coming at a good time.

Sweetest Downfall

Samson-Regina Spektor

I loved you first.

I'd Go the Whole Wide World

I like movies. Alot. But recently movies have mostly done a good job of disappointing me. I think in the last six months only Little Miss Sunshine has managed to make me glad I went to the theater.

But the trailers for Stranger than Fiction made big promises-a premise that sounded intriguing, a stellar cast and a soundtrack by Spoon. My hopes were high.

I am happy to report, and now intend to spread the word, that this movie is a sheer delight on all counts.

Part of what I loved about this movie is that all the characters are essentially good people. Flawed, but really good. I feel like I go to alot of movies and watch alot of TV with characters I would never ever want to meet in real life. But I really cared about everyone in this movie. And I loved the way they cared about one another. There was an underlying kindness in this film that put me in tears practically from the beginning.

The writing was beautiful as well. It's hard to write movie dialogue that manages to make you feel like you are actually reading a book. Every word seemed to be carefully picked. And because the narration was done by the effortlessly amazing Emma Thompson and her delectable British accent, well, it sent little shivers down my literature loving spine.

All the performances were nearly flawless-Dustin Hoffman was a pleasure to watch as always, Emma Thompson is awesome, Maggie Gyllenhaal is so endearing. But it was Will Ferrell who really stole my heart. When he is not being a complete goof (and trust me, I like some goofy Will Ferrell), he has a sweetness and a vulnerability I think alot of actors cannot pull off. And because he pulls it off so well, you can understand why everyone else in the movie is so affected by this sort of vanilla-seeming IRS agent.

At the risk of sounding overly cliche-this movie made me laugh and it made me cry and it even made me think a little. If I were to hear narration of my own life, what parts would seem absurd to me and what changes might I make so it reads a little bit better?

Anyway, I saw it saturday and here it is wednesday and I still feel a bit glowy about it. If you don't already have weekend plans-I suggest that you do now.

Graduation

My sister posted this picture from my college graduation over on another site I frequent and it almost made me burst into tears.

From left to right we have Christopher who now owns a house and has a wife, Elizabeth who sews her own clothes and kisses boys and goes to high school, me, Emily who makes sure taglines look good on Sony video games and runs marathons and organizes benefits, and Logan who is at least four feet taller and is saving souls in the Phillipines but still has that same sweet face. And Sterling, who helped make Maryland safe for democracy in last week's big election was missing that day. But he shares a face with us so, I feel like he's there somewhere.

I lose all ability to be rational when it comes to these people.

Wide Open Spaces

*my dad is going to disown me after this post

Last night a ticket to the Dixie Chicks sort of fell into my lap. I am not a rabid fan but I almost never say no to live music. Also, I had seen the girls on Oprah a few weeks ago talking about their new movie "Shut Up and Sing" and was curious to see who was showing up to their concerts these days.

The group I was with had all kind of things to say about the big controversy over what the lead singer had said about the president and the backlash that followed. I'll admit, when I first heard the clips from that show I was bugged. I am always annoyed when I pay $50 to hear someone's music and they think I really care what their mostly ridiculous political views are. But the longer it has dragged on, and the more people act as though there is something unpatriotic about expressing frustration with an inept President, the more I want to tatoo the Dixie Chicks logo on my forehead in solidarity. I love living in a country where we absolutely get to think and feel whatever we want and what's more, we can say it publicly. Natalie Maines doesn't hate America, she is frustrated with an administration that has nothing but mess things up since they got into office. After this week's elections, it looks like maybe she was just saying what plenty of people were thinking.

But this isn't really supposed to be a political rant. Whether or not I agree with what she said isn't actually the point. Last night when the show started, and these three beautiful, confident, immensely talented women come out on stage like they owned the place, I got incredibly emotional. Oprah had asked the other two members of the group if they ever wished Natalie hadn't said what she said and one of them responded, "you don't even think about that. We're family and when one of us gets attacked, you protect her. You don't worry about what she should have done, you just circle the wagons and take care of each other." The decision to stick by her comments hasn't been great for their reputation or their album sales. But I admire the heck out of the courage it takes to stand up for what you believe in even when it's not what the folks around you want to hear. As Natalie's voice was giving me goosebumps and Emily and Martie played a game of "watch how many instruments I can play and still harmonize like it's no big deal", I thought about the CMA awards this week and the drivel that won while these freakishly talented women didn't get so much as a mention. But then you look at them, doing the thing they love, with their very best friends, husbands and seven kids between them running around backstage, the courage and integrity to be themselves in and out of the public eye and I think, these are the kind of women I hope I can be when I grow up.

The highlight of the night though was when they played a song off their new album called "Long Way Around" and some of the lyrics snapped into focus a bunch of things that have been floating in my head for the last year or so

"Well, I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found

Taking the long way
Taking the long way around"

I guess I've fallen into the trap of thinking that because I fall a little bit outside the lines of your typical Mormon girl that somehow I've messed up. All of the sudden it became really clear that taking the long way is not wrong, it's just another choice. In my heart I think I already knew that but my brain has been doing a really number on me lately. The order of things, the amount of time you spend in a job, the places you move, the heartaches you choose to enter into, the friendships you hang onto-those aren't a matter of right or wrong. My good friend Mike told me that turning 30 was what finally set him free of all the unreasonable expections of "order" leftover from the lists we make in high school. I'm tearing mine up as we speak.

Race ya!

I'm back in Portland this week to spend four days talking ad nauseum about the exercise and buying habits of thirtysomething females. We have had these discussions quarterly since I started at this company four and a half years ago and although I thoroughly enjoy the process of creating a positioning statement and dissecting ad campaign comps, sometimes it also makes my head explode for a few days. So before I get completely sick to death of anything related to health/fitness/women/running/confidence/me time/head clearing/mind/body/spirit/blah/blah/blah I figure I will finally post some photos from the half marathon and be done with it! After going to bed relatively early on Saturday night, Corey and I got up around 5:30 to get ready and walk over to the starting line. We took this photo and then I gave up the camera and blackberry normally surgically attached to my hands so I could just enjoy the run.
And enjoy it I did. I already droned on about the run itself a few posts back. Now I would just like you to concentrate on the fact that nothing looks better after a 13 mile run then firefighters in tuxedos holding little blue boxes from Tiffany's. Nike really nailed it with these finisher necklaces. The FIRST question I get when I tell anyone I ran this race is "did you get the Tiffany's necklace???". Maybe it's easy to be a marketing genius when money is no object but I'll give them major points for finding something that really resonates with that female consumer. And then served up on a platter by a hot guy? Yeah, pretty good idea swoosh.
Emily met me at the finish line where I took the first of many, many unflattering photos of myself.
I ran into Betsy who was sporting the awesome post race blankies. She ran the half as well which is why although we have had cuter days, we also don't look like are about to die.
Oh but neither did Corey and she DID run the whole thing. I have another photo of us being slightly more honest about how we felt about the course but-this is not an R-rated blog.
We walked back to the car-some of us frontwards and some of us trying to baby our quads.
We hit the showers and rested up a bit and then headed to lunch where we obeyed my post race EAT WHATEVER YOU WANT rule. A plate of garlic fries, huge burgers and so much Diet Coke later, we headed back to the Kane's to pack up.
Even though what we really wanted to do was lie in a heap on their couch for the rest of the day.

OK birthday week-THE END!

Ballers

Dear Portland Studio-

I will forgive you for being cold and rainy if you will let me take the cute shoe designer boys currently playing office b-ball in the hall back to Irvine with me.

Please?

-k8

Come on Home

It's hard to believe it's November already. Hard to believe I've been back in California for almost a year. Hard to believe how much life can change in a matter of months.

Since it's nearly Thanksgiving, and since I feel like I am getting reminders from all sides that gratitude is one of the keys to a happy life-I though I would share a few of the reasons I am so grateful for the state I live in.

1. The weather. As I sit here, the sunlight streaming through my bedroom window is making it difficult to read the screen. Bless you annoying sunshine. I never got enough of you when I lived in Boston. It's 70 degrees outside with a light breeze off the ocean. I'm not sure I could ever get tired of days like this one. And lovely California, they seem to be just about all you know how to do.

2. Proximity. Salt Lake is close. Close enough to drive, close enough for plane tickets to be reasonably priced. Close enough for surprise birthday visitors, for weekends in St. George, for sibling Thanksgivings, and the whole family getting to welcome Logan home in January.

3. The peeps. I have said before and I'll say again-the friends I made in Boston were golden. But how hilarious is it that since I left, two of them moved to SF, one to Texas, one to Utah and one came here to HB. And quite a few of my remaining favorites have West Coast ties. Birds of a feather or whatever.

4. The beach. I never ever get tired of the beach. Every Saturday morning I go for a long run down by the water and every single time I want to cry because I love it so much. I love it during the day, I love it at night, I love watching it, I love being in it, I love the way it smells, I love the way it sounds, I love it when it's sunny, I love it when it's stormy. I love watching children and dogs try to make friends with it. I love it when it's full of surfers and when the sun sets over it. I feel incredibly lucky to live four blocks away from it and that I get to see it pretty much every day.

There is a little part of my soul that is slightly disappointed in myself for loving it here so much. That part sort of wishes that I was a sophisticated city girl living it up in Manhattan. And when I am actuallly IN Manhattan I can usually channel her and I start thinking I should give it a shot. Then I land at John Wayne airport and open the sunroof on PCH and stop for a fish taco and I realize I'm home.

As is often the case with me, I have a song to describe how I feel about this place. This band was a recommendation from a friend of a friend. They are from Salt Lake and after looking at their My Space page, it turns out the drummer is an old friend from a zillion lifetimes ago. I'm glad I only heard this song recently. If I had known it in Boston I just might have lost my mind.Enjoy!

Photoshop

I've mentioned before that one thing I love about my job is that from time to time I have projects that give me a chance to hire talented friends of mine. It's so much fun to work with people I already know and like and to be able give them a chance to build their portfolios. When our website needed a refresh on imagery, I was lucky enough to get my friend Mark to shoot it. I think perhaps the idea of spending two days taking pictures of pretty girls in workout clothes might have contributed to his willingness to take the job. Whatever it was, I was glad he could make some time between shooting snowboarders and the likes of Kevin Federline to do my girly project.

So I'll just admit it-I am incredibly jealous of people with artistic/design talents. I just think they see the world in a different way and I'm totally fascinated by it. For instance, I was standing right there in the studio all day and what I saw was this

Here is what Mark saw

And here is what he saw in the grand total of 10 minutes we spent trying to get a quick shot before anyone hassled us about a permit. (this was actually not the first time that happened on a work shoot)

Obviously it turned out to be a fabulous shoot-even my super picky apparel director loved the images. I had way too much fun, bonded with all the models and really enjoyed watching Mark work. It's fun when a guy who throws you in the swimming pool and makes your stomach hurt with his South Park voices also happens to have a real live grown up talent. And all the better if it ends up making me looking totally awesome for hiring him!

See people? Using your friends is totally WIN-WIN!

Reunited

So about six months ago, my friend Jaime decided that in honor of a year of 30th birthdays, we should pull together a group of us that used to hang out in college. And the great thing about being adults is that within about two weeks, everyone had made plans and booked tickets to San Francisco. Here we have Jaime, Jenny, me, Kathie, Mary and Jenny
Fully 2/3 of the photos I came home with were taken across a table. We did alot of eating. Eating and shopping and laughing. Mary and Jennie are both complete pros at that whole laughing thing.
And if we weren't eating, we were walking. And looking sassy. We went to Ghiradelli's for treats and in a dining room full of kids and parents, we were the only table wearing these awesome hats. I don't know what's wrong with people.
Six women, three sundaes-they never had a prayer.
We had dinner at this really fun Italian place one night and Jenny told everyone how old we were.
After about 10 trips to San Francisco, I finally rode the cable car. Despite my sometimes snotty attitude toward touristy stuff, it was actually quite fun.We took lots of goofy picturesand crowded around to look at them
We hit on this guy. OK really though, how cute are we?

The weekend went my much too quickly of course but I am delighted to report that we had as much fun now as we did all those years ago at school. We reminded each other of crazy experiences I haven't thought about in YEARS-crushes I had forgotten all about, embarrassing stories, updates of old roommates and sorority sisters. It was exactly the kind of weekend you hope you'll have one day when you are a sitting in the cafeteria our freshman year with no one to talk to.

Obviously we are doing this again. Obviously.