John Mayer was a kid in my ward and was an accountant or a dentist or something who played a little guitar at parties and stuff instead of a really famous guy who sometimes writes cheesy songs and dated JESSICA SIMPSON for crying out loud, I would probably have to marry him and have some babies with him.
He started a blog on his website awhile back and while it was often ramblings on cool sneakers or links to YouTube, it was also pretty funny and clever with just enough self-conciousness to make you think even a huge celebrity can still be kind of a dork on the inside. But then he posted some defense of J-Simp when everyone was blaming her for Tony Romo stinking it up on the football field (I don't particularly like her but seriously? If the guy can't play because his girlfriend is watching isn't that his problem not hers?) and then he posted what seemed like angry lyrics about an ex and tried to explain himself later blah blah blah, suddenly there was a non-story about how John Mayer was such a tool because he kept trying to defend himself on his blog. And then he shut the whole thing down and replaced it with a sign saying, "Done and Dusted and Self-Conscious and Back to Work." Celeb gossip sites were all excited to point out what a tool he was for caring what people think. To which I say, duh. We all care what people think and frankly, I don't want to live in a world where everyone has a "I do what I want!" attitude all the time.
Well I guess he had a little more to say because the blog is back up. And I thought his last entry was really nice...so here is an excerpt from my total guilty pleasure:
"....This is about all of us. Who all seem to know deep down that it's incredibly hard to be alive and interact with the world around us but will try and cover it up at any cost. For as badass and unaffected as we try to come off, we're all just one sentence away from being brought to the edge of tears, if only it was worded right. And I don't want to act immune to that anymore. I took the biggest detour from myself over the past year, since I decided that I wasn't going to care about what people thought about me. I got to the point where I had so much padding on that, sure, I couldn't feel the negativity, but that's because I couldn't feel much of anything. And I think I'm done with that.
I'm not the first person to admit we're all self conscious, Kanye was. But what I want to do is to shed a little light on why we're all in the same boat, no matter the shape of the life we lead: because every one of us were told since birth that we were special. We were spoken to by name through a television. We were promised we could be anything that we wanted to be, if only we believed it and then, faster than we saw coming, we were set loose into the world to shake hands with the millions of other people who were told the exact same thing.
And really? Really? It turns out we're just not all that special, when you break it down. Beautifully unspectacular, actually. And that truth is going to catch up with us whether we want to run from it or not. The paparazzo following me to the gym ain't gonna be Herb Ritts and the guy he's following ain't gonna be Bob Dylan. It's just a matter of how old you are once you embrace that fact. And for me, 30 sounds about right.
What now, then? I can only really say for myself: Enjoy who I am, the talents and the liabilities. Stop acting careless. In fact, care more. Be vulnerable but stay away from where it hurts. Read. See more shows. Of any kind. Rock shows, art shows, boat shows. Create more art. Wear hoodies to dinner. Carry a notebook and hand it to people when they passionately recommend something and ask them to write it down for me.
Root for others.
Give more and expect the same in return, but over time.
Act nervous when I'm nervous, puzzled when I don't know what the hell to do, and smile when it all goes my way. And never in any other order than that.
And when it's all over, whether at the end of this fabulous career or of this life, which I hope takes place at the same time, I should look back and say that I had it good and I made the most of it while I was able. And so should you."