Sunday, April 13, 2008

Good

Start to finish this was a fantastic weekend. Fun things, fun people and the realization that Boston is a city better lived inside than on the outskirts.

In addition to being fun, there was some meat to the weekend as well. It sort of started out Friday night at the Rogue Wave show. I met up with some friends and couldn't help remembering the last time I had been at a concert at that venue with those particular people. It shocked me a little bit think about how different our current lives are from the paths we were on that night almost three years ago. I think I can speak for them when I say that we are all happier people thanks to some fairly dramatic changes of plans over the past few years. It was nice to get some "rest of the story" perspective on things. And perspective gained while enjoying live rock and roll is some of the best kind.

Saturday was a good kind of blur-running,breakfasting,shopping, getting a little sun-and then it was time for an evening church meeting before my friend Whit's birthday party. I will confess that I was doing a little too much chatting with my neighbor during the first bit of the meeting and maybe not getting as much out of it as I could have. Then the speaker quoted a scripture that practically came to life and jumped into my lap. " He doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world". It must have been something everyone there needed to hear because our whole row of socialites suddenly snapped to attention. I've been thinking a LOT lately about why hard things have to happen. Why some people seem to get hit really hard and others look to have it a little easier. Feeling powerless in the face of difficult things happening in the world and to folks I love. I think I've heard the one about how trials are the best way to learn about a million times and frankly, that's not always what you want to hear in the middle of one crappy experience after another or when you are wondering why you work so hard to be good and make good choices and the righteous thing you really want remains firmly outside your grasp. Understanding that every single thing that happens in the human experience is for the good of the world carries with it an enormous amount of comfort and hope. The major injustices of the world are easier to accept if somehow they are leading to a great good. My little family has been through all kinds of rough stuff-divorce, serious illness, financial difficulties-thing that I wouldn't wish on anyone. But I look at who all of us have become because of those experiences and I know that every hard thing directly contributed to every good thing we've been through as well. These last few months have exposed an exhausting amount of worries and fears an doubts and I have not felt like myself in a long while. Last night I had one of those "I see you down there and I know what you need" moments that help me get through the dark patches when it feels like I'm shouting into a void.

I've let myself get really wrapped up in my own life for a bit and I think that was OK. I needed it. But now it's time to contribute to the "good of the world". I've been kind of MIA to kind friends checking in on me and a somewhat selfish with my time since I got here. I'm excited to feel whole again and to put some of that positive energy into my little sphere.

4 comments:

JS said...

I wish I'd been with you Saturday - I needed to hear that talk. I've had a hard time coming to grips lately with why the people here have so little and why I have so much and yet still find myself dissatisfied.

CoCo said...

Welcome Back Katie!! :)

k8 said...

js, i can't even imagine what the disparity between haves and have nots must be like in india. i know a lot of people see the suffering in the world and think it's proof there can't be a God because how could He let that happen. I just have to believe that there is a perspective and a plan that we can't understand and all of the bad stuff fits into it. Otherwise the senselessness of violence and poverty and cruelty is almost too much for me.

Rod Clifford said...

Katie, sometimes I've felt like I was standing on the top of a hill with a huge storm blowing in my face, but I've never been tempted to shake my fist at the heavens and curse God. Most of our wounds are self-inflicted, and the others just are the result of being mortal. So hang in there - you are, indeed, being watched over.