Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Impulse

I woke up yesterday feeling a little under the weather so I didn't go to work. Or get out of my bed until about 5. My friend Farrah was kind enough to deliver some Del Taco to me so I literally didn't have to move most of the day. I did do some work from home though and while I was working, I got an email from the Spa where I had a massage right after my half marathon. So in a rare display of impulse pampering that doesn't include $10 pedicures, I called and booked a full-body treatment.

So I'm laying there on the table, and it's nice and warm and the lights are low and the music is soothing and the massage therapist is asking me a few questions about where I'd like her to concentrate-it all felt quite lovely. I told her my back and shoulders have been stiff and sore lately so let's spend most of our time there.

She starts with my arms, it feels great, I'm relaxed. And then she starts on my back and I'm not kidding you, she says, OUT LOUD, "oh dear!" to which I reply, "yeah, i have a few knots in there." "Uh, yeah. Seriously. What have you been doing???"

Good question, what HAVE I been doing?

Well running alot. So that explains a little. Clenching my shoulders over the "check engine" light in my car everytime I drive but somehow not making time to take it in, staring at the ceiling for half an hour before I fall asleep wondering if all the statistics about conception being harder after 30 are true, rereading the underlined portions of Mountains Beyond Mountains and trying to figure out why on earth I still haven't mailed in my Big Sister application, having three dreams in the last month regarding marriage where I wake up totally relieved that they weren't real and I didn't actually go through with something that felt wrong, wondering how my sea level lungs will do in a mountain race, wondering if I'll ever stop being sad that my parents are divorced, consistently forgetting the four wedding presents I am behind on, fearing that my computer is going to die the very month I finally paid it off, thinking about the expense reports I haven't finished only at times I am nowhere near them. And believe it or not, I STILL don't have a California driver's license because mine got lost in the mail and you have to go back to the DMV to get them to send you a new one and well, if that means getting up half an hour early to go before work then you know I'm not doing it until I get threatened with arrest and maybe not even then.

But I didn't think about any of those things last night. I only thought about how nice the lotion smelled and how good it feels to have someone touch your skin even in,or maybe especially in, a purely non-sexual way and how a day only has so many hours and I'm glad I'm spending this one here.

Today I think I'm clenching my shoulders again but I'm making a concerted effort to stop when I realize I'm doing it again. We'll see how long this lasts.

7 comments:

f*bomb. said...

I have almost all the same things from that paragraph except for the ones involving excercise...And I just decided to jump on Krista's bandwagon and join "The Rub Club." It's a membership card where you pre-pay to get massages each month. The more massages you get, the lower the cost! BRILLIANT.

Let's carpool.

Tom Millar (Author / Publisher) said...

just remember, your mother had emily-elizabeth in her post-30 years. you just keep that in mind. you and sterling are the only ones who had the pre-30 year old mother. just some food-for-thought.

Greg and Jayne said...

My first massage was a forced march by Vickie Stewart which I swore I would not like. Turns out that touch is touch (unless it's bad touch wich does not apply here) and for me the lack of close contact at that time in my life was immeasurably improved by the occasional full body massage at the UCMT lab. Human touch is a really nice thing.
And Tom is right, Emily, Christopher, Logan and Elizabeth all developed in my 30+ parts. Really can't complain about the production quality there. But I also completely understand what you felt and all my support is yours.

chloe said...

Good for you!!! Everyone needs a good impulse massage...and the occasional impulse shoe purchase. You know, the ones that cost way too much, but make you feel so good that you can't resist.

Crystalbell said...

Don't worry about reproducing after 30, I just had Giselle at 32. Michael and I had one conversation about making a baby and literally two weeks later we were expecting. It has been a great experience, although a bit tougher physically than it was when I was 19 with my first child.

I believe when the time is right it will happen for you.

k8 said...

i guess it's the finding a boy who wants to make a baby with me that is the key now : )

f*bomb. said...

Whatever, Katie.
ALL the boys wanna make babies with you.
It's the diaper changes that are a bitch.