So guess what happens when you spend the entire week gloating over your fabulous 16 mile run? You have the crappiest run of your training season wherein you end up WALKING six miles in the mid-day sun.
Just in case you were wondering how to make sure your 18 miler gets slashed to 12 and you end up feeling like a chewed up piece of gum, here is the recipe:
1. try not to drink much more than 8 ounces of water the day before. if possible, drink an obscene amout of Diet Coke instead.
2. see if you can have a meeting in another city that requires you to get up at 5:00, fly to Portland, spend the day in heavy brainstorming and fly home in one day.
3. when you get home from the meetings, don't go right to bed. go over to a friend's house and watch the season premiere of The Office for the fourth time in two days.
4. then answer emails for an hour when you get home.
5. then try really hard to be restless in your sleep
6. ditch your normal pre-run food routine and eat an egg mcmuffin. no really, it's just like the banana you usually have
7. goof around for as long as you can after you eat so that by the time you get on the trail, it's been hours since you ate
8. pick a route as far from the beach as possible so that it's really good and hot
9. wear the wrong shoes
I'm telling you folks. It really doesn't take much to make sure that you too can be a complete deadbeat.