Thursday, May 15, 2008

Let Go

I have never broken off an engagement but I think I know a little bit how it must feel to watch an ex-fiance walk down the aisle with someone else. You must know that you did the right thing letting him go but there must be some pain in watching him get the thing you are afraid you might never have.

I spent two hours tonight googling my old company and reading up on the launch party they did last night with that big celeb I helped sign. It's getting some good buzz and by all accounts the event was a giant success. Someone else has my job now and judging by the website and the ad that just came out, she's doing a good job. On my last day at that company the owner pulled me into his office and gave me these parting words, "I'm happy for you if you think you need this change for personal reasons, but professionally I think you are making a huge mistake. You only get to ride a rocket like this a few times in your career and it's really dumb to walk away from that."

So I can't turn off my brain tonight. I do know that I am in the right place. But second guessing yourself is really easy to do. I am quick to wonder how miserable I really was and to forget how many times along the way I had assurances that I was headed in a good direction. So far all that is helping is listening to this song over and over

I guess maybe I'm a little homesick today.


brent said...

Hey, I love, love, LOVE this song. what if you're missing the "rocket" this time. Maybe I'm wrong, but I get this vibe from you that you find joy in building things, creating things, developing things...and that's the "rocket" for you, you know? It's not so much dealing with all the hoopla with celebrities and blah dee blah.

Don't second guess. You are WAY too smart for that. :)

CoCo said...

Your name's in the press release. YOU launched the rocket. Someone else can fly it. And then someone else can land it.

The bosses that have I appreciated most are the ones that help create opportunities for me to grow (even if that means outside their realm) and have confidence in my abilities to move on (if needs be) and grow.

I get the homesick thing. Remember, the only regrets you have in life are the risks you don't take!

Laurie said...

I'm sad your boss said that to you. My last boss said that EXACT SAME THING to me when I wanted to get married and have a baby. Almost verbatim, actually! Running a day spa in Malibu was a GREAT job and a once in a lifetime opportunity, but being a mommy is my DREAM job.

The homesickness will ebb and flow, but less and less so each time... and before you know it, it will be crystal clear as to why you felt prompted to move on! Don't ever let anyone else tell you otherwise.

Darren and Nikki said...

Boo for your old boss! Who says that when someone is leaving? Lame bitter people who realize that they had a pretty easy ride, because Katie did all of the work. :) I don't know if that is true, I am just assuming it is...Besides - you were SOOOO excited for your new position. And you really really thought it over before you made your decision. Remember that.

Don't be homesick. It is 10am and could be about 90 degrees out here. It is expected to be up to 100 by noon. I got sunburned on my morning run. And I am half Mexican. No gusta.