Scene behind the Team

It's done. About 1100 people to dress in 11 days and we did it just by the skin of our teeth in time for Opening Ceremonies.

I have so.much.to.say. about the last 18 days of my life. I don't think I have ever been as frustrated or doubted myself or just been flat out scared as I have been here in London. But I have rarely been as purely proud as I was last night as I had the great privilege of watching Team USA spill out onto the track looking as bright and shiny as we dreamed they would be.

Maybe my favorite moment of yesterday was the phone call I got at about 5:30 from one of my favorite team leaders saying that Lolo Jones' Opening Ceremony shoes were too small. I had just gotten off the Tube after a trip to pick up the last minute ticket I got to the show so I was about seven minutes from our warehouse. I scurried over there, ran inside to find my intern learning to skateboard in the lobby. I found the shoes and darted out the door to go meet Aron, the team leader, at the workers entrance of the Village to hand them off. Aron is great to work with because he is smart and responsible and works hard.  It does not hurt that he is also tall and way handsome. He comes out of the Village and I am feeling this pit in my stomach that OMG it's 7:00 and the ceremony starts in two hours and LOLO NEEDS THESE SHOES and Aron gives me this look like, "down a notch Clifford". So he gave me a hard time for a few minutes and we talked and laughed and my heart started beating again and then I went off to get ready to go to the Ceremony.

I have loads more to talk about but after the Ceremony we ended up meeting up with the interns and going out until 4:00 in the morning so I need to get some actual sleep tonight so I can get my venue packed up tomorrow.

The Summer Games man. They are hard to describe.

Home Alone

So much for my grand idea of blogging through Team Processing. We have four days left and I'm not even sure how to go about explaining what the experience has been. Terrible? The worst? Refiner's fire? If you follow me on instagram (replikate34), or we are friends on FB (I have to really know you), or you follow my tweets (replikate), you might be jealous of the last 12 days. They look really, really fun. And there have been some terrific moments. But this has been one of the toughest experiences of my life and I'm afraid when I write about it after Opening Ceremonies are over and I've been to USA House a couple of times and the sun has been shining, I will gloss over all of it.

But here's what I know for sure-I love events because you live a mini lifetime in a span of a few weeks and I have a truckload of lessons learned. I hope I get a few of them down.

Surrender

This week.

What to say about this week.

I'm in London.

It has rained every single day.

I haven't slept a full night since we got here.

Every single thing that is out of my immediate control has gone wrong.

I was homesick the first day.

But today my friend Andrew from the IOC who I adore, came over to say hello, And we managed to find a place for all the Ralph Lauren items. And our team is going to look beautiful even if everything was MADE IN CHINA.

This is hard work and long hours and lots and lots of things are not working anywhere nearly the way I planned them. But I still feel really lucky, and as I sat in a pub tonight and my team teased me mercilessly about the super cute volunteer who has been flirting with me (I maybe flirted back. A lot.) I can't think of anywhere I would rather be.

Except maybe asleep.

Forgotten

Things I forgot about Olympic Team Processing set up

*Unloading 15 trucks into any venue makes your heart stop a little bit
*Volunteers are the greatest
*Even though I see my coworkers every single day at home, when they suddenly appear here they feel like family. It's way fun to have your tribe reassemble somewhere completely new
*This.is.so.much.work

OMG

July 6 COS to Knoxville
July 7 Set up
July 8 Fit the US Olympic Swim Team
July 9 Knoxville to LONDON

July 10-Sept 1 FREAK OUT!!!

Guys, I'm packing for nearly two months tonight. And by that I mean I'm watching New Girl and doing my nails. I managed to get in pretty much all of my Colorado summer list items (including #7) and theoretically I'm ready to go. I mean, I have a passport and these guys-what more do I need to do?

CLEAR EYES 

FULL HEARTS

CAN'T LOSE

Punch list

A thing that is always terribly annoying to a writer is when I feel like I don't have a way to adequately translate my swirls of emotions and thoughts into any kind of coherent blog post.

Olympic Trials were an unreal experience. I saw historic performances on the track, I sat in rooms with more Olympians than I could keep track of, I flirted with my fair share of cute boys (did you read my last post? I have to BE MYSELF after all), I stayed up half the night checking the internet in hopes that my house didn't burn down, I got to hang out with two lovely friends who came to visit, I worked with people I both admire and respect and that's all the way from getting to spend some significant time with Jackie Joyner-Kersee to just falling further into professional love with the two women from the USOC I brought to help me.

I am still trying to figure out exactly why 2012 has decided to be such a dramatic year but one thing I'm really trying to do is stay anchored in my faith. I got a nice blessing before I left for Oregon that confirmed to my little heart that I have done the work and the preparation and things are all going to be OK.

I am pretty excited to go to the Olympics. I'm excited to have a cool job that makes people in the airport want to ask me a million questions. But after the emotional intensity of the last few weeks, I am way more grateful that I have a home that is still standing, that I had an overwhelming outpouring of people from all over the country checking in on me last week when our fire was front and center on the news, that I have a family that dropped everything to support my father when he needed us, that I have made some choices recently that were hard but were right.  The Games will be a good memory and an awesome experience but I'm so, so thankful that my life and my identity goes way deeper than a neat title and a trip to London.

UBU

One of the reasons I love working big events so much is how they always end up being super concentrated periods of growth. You simply can't go through them and come home exactly the same. Something changes-you meet people who become signfigant in your life, you interact with your coworkers in new ways that affect the way you work with them back home, the pace is fast and you have to make quick decisions and trust yourself and deal with crazy things that never happen when you are sitting at a desk. I always feel different getting on the plane at the end of one of these adventures.

The last nine months of Pan Ams, Parapan Ams, Youth Games, trips to London and then the insane lead-up to the Games have had my brain and my heart feeling like I've been strapped to the top of a rocket ship. It's fun and it's thrilling but it's also been really scary and there are moments where I just want to get the hell off this thing.

One of the coolest parts of what we're doing here in Eugene are these Ambassador Programs we get to facilitate. Every athlete has to attend one and they basically hear from a bunch of decorated retired athletes about how to represent the USA well at the Olympics. At the sessions here in Eugene we've had a good mix of veterans and first-timers so the vets have been sharing quite a bit of advice with the newbies. It's been unreal to listen to a room full of people who are among the best track and field athletes in the entire world give each other honest and frank advice on how to make the most of their Olympic experience.

I'm not going to compare myself to an Olympian but some of the advice has been shockingly applicable to what I've been going through this year. I don't know how you measure how I stack up compared to all the other Team Processing Directors in the world but I do know that I'm pretty darn good at my job. And I know that I've worked my damn tail off pretty much since the minute I left college to get this place. Everything happening right now is a culmination of 12 years of blood, sweat and tears trying to claw my way to a job that makes me happy almost every single day. In many, many ways, I can relate to the journey the athletes have taken to make this team and the pressure they feel to turn in a gold medal performance.

So one thing they have been saying to each other over and over is "just do you." Meaning-YOU got yourself here,  so don't change your routines, don't try to be someone else, don't let the competition convince you that you are doing it the wrong way. Just be you. I have found myself way too many times in the last few months second guessing my own decisions or wishing I did things like so and so does or wondering if I'm too this or not enough that. But it's sinking in that it's not just a series of lucky events that brought me to Colorado Springs. I say that because I'm a nice girl and nice girls have trouble saying "I got this job because I'm very, very good at what I do." It feels better to say that I'm lucky. I AM blessed and I'm grateful for the opportunities I've gotten but I am ready to give myself some credit for what I've done with those opportunities and to turn that into confidence that I am ready for this. Luck didn't get me here, I did. And continuing to be me-even if that means that I never remember where I laid my clipboard and sometimes I get bossier than I realize and I do talk too much-is the only way I'm going to turn in my own gold medal performance.

Tomorrow is our last day in Eugene. I don't mind saying I'll be leaving a little peice of my heart at Hayward Field.

Blaze

At 4:30 today I was toggling between Dan O'Brien and Jackie Joyner Kersee at a presentation for all the athletes that have qualified for the team the last two days when I got three texts and two phone calls from friends in Colorado Springs letting me know my apartment complex had been evacuated due to the raging wildfires devouring our city.

Fortuitously, my dear friend Emily came down from Portland tonight to hang out with me and she has been here to take my mind off the coverage I can't quite take my eyes off of everything burning, burning, burning. I am scared to go to sleep and wake up to the news that my apartment is gone. I have felt a million things tonight and made a thousand lists of what I would have pulled out of my place had I been home.

Universe, you are a laugh a minute these days.

Track Town

So this is the day I had.

For three hours this morning we opened nine pallets worth of clothing and arranged it on racks and tables.

Then we went to do a tour of the stadium and happened to be in the coaches box when Ashton Eaton broke a world record in the decathlon 100m.  It is not going to hurt my feelings when we get to fit Ashton for his Team USA gear.

Taken with my iPhone. No zoom. OMG.

Afterwards we wandered around the venue for awhile and happened to run across an older gentleman my coworker Cindy knew from way back named John Carlos. Who was he? Just this guy. I got an actual chill up my spine shaking his hand and I haven't stopped thinking about it all day.

John Carlos was the bronze medalist

Then it was back to the hotel where we finished up our set up. This is what outfitting looks like for the 2012 Olympic team.

We wrapped up with way too much sushi and gossip on a rainy Eugene night.

Tomorrow it all begins and I feel a little bit like a kid on Christmas Eve.

Glory Days

My house is not going to be as clean as I like it to be before I leave on long trips and I had to dump a few less than savory projects I had planned to do the last two days on the intern fleet but every single cliche about family funerals came true in the last 48 hours and I am so relieved that I went.

My dad picked me up at the airport yesterday and we got to spend some father-daughter time together which we haven't done in a long time. We get together in groups and piles when I am in Utah and neither of us are big phone talkers so it was nice to sit in a restaurant and listen to him talk about my Uncle and how he was feeling.

I hadn't been to Idaho since my grandmother's funeral almost 20 years ago.  But I was born there. And we spent glorious weeks there as kids, climbing trees and sliding down roofs and searching for-and sometimes finding-wild kittens in the tall grass of my grandparent's field. My grandma let us drink Coke out of the bottle and eat candy until we were borderline diabetic. On those vacations there were always trips into Rexburg to see my Uncle Kyle and Aunt Julie and our cousins. I have good memories of those trips and even though we drifted far, far apart as adults, it was stunning to me how familiar they felt as my Dad and I went through the line at the viewing last night.

A collection of my siblings were driving up from Utah so it was just Dad and me last night, hin running into all manner of old friends and family he hadn't seen in ages. Everyone looked so old and it was something of a jolt to realize how fast my own father is suddenly 66. I remember him when he was my age and that feels a bit surreal.

After the viewing I asked if we could drive by my grandparent's house. He was a little hesitant-it had been a long time since he had the seen the place he grew up in-but we made our way over anyway. Menan, Idaho looks exactly like I remember it. Maybe a new house or two down the road we drove a million times as kids but mostly unchanged acres and acres of farmland. We got to the house and it looked tired. There were a lot of cars in the yard and two somewhat unsavory looking characters were in the yard. I said I wanted to go in, Dad was uncharacteristically emphatic in saying no. But he pulled down a dirt road behind the house and let me take a few photos. I am an emotional gal and I like nostalgia as much as the next guy but I still wasn't prepared for the weight of emotions that are tangled up in places where you spent so much time as a wee person. That house was the most consistent brick and mortar of my first 18 years and it was bittersweet to see weeds and junky cars surrounding it.

We left the house and went to get gas and then suddenly the other kids had arrived and they wanted to see it too so back we went.  We caught up to a carload of them on the deserted street leading to the house so I got out of the car and chased them for a minute much to the delight of my nephew Garrett who was so hopelessly sugared up we didn't get him to bed until 11:30.

We drove up to the house and the eight of us spilled out, trying not to freak out the people who lived there and probably not succeeding. All my dad's city mice, walking around in the pasture next to the tiny tiny place where my grandmother taught two little farm boys to dream beyond the borders of their little town. I know he was sad to see the place in disrepair but I could tell he was also overwhelmed with all the support crammed into those cars. There was a time before my parents got divorced when lots of us didn't get along with him very well and he's worked pretty hard the last twelve years to make things right. He's taken responsibility for a lot of the mistakes he made with us and been incredibly supportive of all the decisions we've made as adults.

It's no big secret that I love my family right? I think it's well documented here that I think they are great.  But seeing them all there, knowing that it wasn't a perfect or easy time for anyone to take a time out, I felt even luckier to have them. Sometimes I get so lonely I can actually feel it in my bones but when I'm with all of them, all of that melts away and I just think I'm blessed beyond reason to be part of this crew.

The funeral was really nice, my Dad did the life sketch and because he's a terrific writer, it was beautiful. He got more emotional than I have ever seen him, I know this is harder than he knows how to show.

Uncle Kyle was buried near my grandparents. We walked through a cemetery with lots of "Clifford" headstones. I guess maybe all the moving around I've done as an adult and still being pretty rootless I just forget how nice it is to be in a place with a foundation.

We finished off the event with a big fat pizza buffet in and then Emily and Aaron dropped me off at the airport.

Very selfishly, I can't believe how calm I feel now on the eve of this crazy summer. My friend from USA Track and Field who is already in Eugene texted me today to say my NINE PALLETS were at the hotel. This is happening and I am really, really excited. But I'm also really sure that whatever else happens in the next 60 days, these last 48 hours were the most important of the summer.

A few highlights of the trip

Dad over the Snake River. I made him stop so we could walk across it. 

My sister the fashion queen-classing up the joint

Garrett's first funeral. He was pretty great. 

I call this "dad couldn't figure out the iPhone" 

Pause

I've added a leg to my crazy summer travel schedule. 

I'm driving up to Denver tomorrow morning to catch a flight to Idaho Falls where I will meet up with my dad and an assortment of my siblings to attend my Uncle Kyle's funeral. 

I found out Saturday night and my very understanding father told me that he was proud of everything I am up to at the moment and I shouldn't worry about getting to the funeral happening less than 24 hours before I leave for for Olympic Trials in Eugene. But hearing myself explain to the very nice boy who told me to come over when he heard the news that I was too busy with work to go just sounded like a person I don't want to be. So I booked a flight and unless I absolutely have to go in between Eugene and Knoxville, my next day in the office is in September. 

I should definitely be freaking out right now and worrying about a hundred things but I feel remarkably calm. It's hard to explain but as soon as I made the decision to go the funeral and to be there for my dad, I felt like I had passed some kind of life test and the reward is a sense of peace about the summer to come. 

I've been working really hard to two years now to prepare for this. I'm ready, it's time now to have some faith in my abilities and just get to work. It's been an interesting couple of weeks both personally and professionally-I've been learning maybe even more than I wanted to about forgiveness and self-awareness and getting a chance to leave with clean slates all around. 

Tomorrow night I will get to spend some time with a bunch of my favorite people on earth and although I'm very sad for my Uncle's family and for my dad, I do feel tremendous sense of gratitude that I will get to see their faces and draw some strength from my little tribe before I leave. 

Typical Situation

So what does a typical day at work look like when we are leaving for the Olympics in less than a month?

A little bit like this.

Guys, when an email like this starts to seem like no big deal then I'll know it's time to quit. In two weeks I'll be in Eugene, Oregon, fitting newly minuted Olympic Team Member after newly minted Olympic Team Member with all their Team USA gear for eight jam packed days. And in the afternoon I'll introduce Olympic legends to those athletes who will tell them how to be good ambassadors at the Games.

How did this even happen?

Groundhog Day

I had a date last night.

Let's not get too excited internet. We had a lovely time and we're going to hang out again but I'm not spilling one single detail beyond that. 

But can we talk about how dating is really, really, really weird? Everything about it. And the longer I have to do it the more the whole process is still just as scary and awesome as it was when I was 16 and dying to get started. 

We went to this restaurant last night that is popular with guys of a certain age here in the Springs so yeah, I had been on dates there before. And as I'm sitting there running through my siblings and where they all live and who has kids and who has a cat I can't help thinking that the last time I did this I had two fewer nephews and one of the cats was new. And how many times am I going to do this in my life? How many times am I going to make my joke about how 35 in Mormon girl single years is like 55 in regular girl years? And I don't say that in any kind of whiny or self-pitying way but I'm just so curious how many times you can hear yourself tell the same stories while trying to be charming and funny and flirty and light and have it still seem genuine? 

We texted quite a bit in the last few days. Because that is what you do now. I know all my married friends and people who got hitched in the 50's like to roll their eyes and say that texting is so lazy and "in my day a man called you on the phone and asked you out." Well that's not how we do it in 2012 guys. You exchange numbers and then you text. And frankly, when you are sitting in a meeting and a name you are excited about pops up on your phone, it's awesome. And when he says something super cute and maybe just a little bit brave because texting makes us brave, you can read it over and over for days. The ability to text-flirt all day long is maybe one of my favorite hobbies in the entire world. I will also tell you that it is incredibly satisfying to delete delete block delete when someone breaks your heart. How did anyone know you were ignoring them before there were at least two or three solid social media options for making sure he knows you don't want him to know you anymore?

So there had been texting. Questions back and forth, figuring stuff out, getting an idea of someone. I got out of the car last night for our real life interaction and panicked. Because after a few days of texting I was invested. It was just a first date but we already knew a bunch of things about each other.  So you get to a first date in 2012 and you have already sort of been out on a date and a half. And I'm walking into that restaurant I have been to with someone else on another first date and I'm thinking-as exhausting as it is to be alone, it's exhausting and then terrifying to start the whole process of getting to know somebody new. Can't we just keep texting? I'm really, really good at the texting. 

I have this adorable trio of guy friends who have taken it upon themselves to be my dating coaches lately. They had all been giving me advice all day as thought it was my first date ever instead of another in a loooooooooong string of first dates. Steve called as I was driving home to change, "just make sure you smell good and be yourself and he will literally be unable to resist you." If only sixteen year old me had had such fairy godfathers. 

We talked about a million and thank goodness he was both a good question asker and a willing answerer. The first date at 35 vs the first date at 25 means that you know all the things you want to find out pretty quickly. Or at least you think you do. 

After dinner we walked over to a coffee shop and I am not kidding, walking along the sidewalk in the summer darkness with a boy you are excited about feels EXACTLY the same now as it did when I was 16. And I am so relieved that it does. Because I had a friend once upon a time who said that maybe in our thirties we just needed to accept that we would never feel those kind of butterflies again and it sounded so depressing. I need at least a few. 

I woke up this morning and I had two thoughts-relieved to have gotten through a really great first date. Yay, good job me! And then the feeling of "oh my gosh now what?". Can't I just be a really good first dater and not get any further into waters that might lead to getting eaten by an alligator? Should we quit while everyone is still excited and he really didn't seem to think I talk too much (I do)?

This is why people get cats. 

Truth

Our intern made this name tag himself. I'm glad they are starting to know their place. 

Bucket list

Disclaimer for this post-I have zero complaints about spending most of my summer at the Olympics. However, summer is my absolute favorite time of year and Colorado is simply a spectacular place to spend it.  I have had two delightful summers here so far and I'm just a baby bit heartbroken to completely miss this one.

So.

I'm making a list of 15 things I want to do  in the 21 days I have in the Springs. If you live here, and you want to join me for any of these adventures-the more the merrier says I.

Colorado summer in 21 days

1. Sunset Incline hike
2. Bike to the top of Cheyenne Canyon
3. Eat Josh and John's ice cream at the Manitou Springs park
4. Stay out with friends too late on a work night
5. Make dinner out of things from the Farmer's Market and eat it outside
6. Finish my "late night summer listening in the dark" playlist
7. Make out to the summer listening playlist I got from my friend Adam  (this one is a bit of a challenge but I am up to it!)
8. See some live music (I already have my tickets for a David Bazan house show, you don't want to miss it if you live here.)
9. Go to a summer blockbuster (happy to take suggestions)
10. Take a random half day off work and spend it at the pool (this will be tricky but I'm committed)
11. Eat something that was grilled outside
12. Lunch on the Nosh patio
13. Trail run in Ute Valley
14. Moonlight hot tub dip
15. Finish up the first Insanity rotation without cheating

If I can get through this list then I think I will be able to get on the plane without feeling too much melancholy about all the hikes, weekend getaways, happy hours that stretch into happy all nights, BBQ's and late night chat fests that always make summer feel just a little bit sweeter than any other time of year. I know that all manner of adventure awaits in London, as I get older is just seems that the simple pleasures mean more and more.

Here is one of my all time favorite late night summer listening in the dark track.

Nico

We found out over the weekend that my dad's brother, his only brother, has an aggressive brain cancer and doesn't have much time left. 

I haven't seen my Uncle Kyle in years. He and my dad had a falling out once upon a time and although they patched things up, we were all adults by then and had drifted away. But when I was little, his kids were the cousins we spent lots of time with and I still remember his wife letting us watch The Dark Crystal at a sleepover. 

Much like when my Aunt passed away last year, I'm sad for their family for sure, but I'm worried for my dad who is about to be the last surviving member of his immediate family and pretty much his extended family as well. My father, who spent the better part of two years on dialysis and is walking around with a stranger's kidney, outliving everyone else.  The universe is funny. He's not a particularly demonstrative fella but years ago he told me in a letter that "just because emotions are not easily expressed does not mean they don't run deep." I know my dad is sad. And we are sad for him. 

Oddly, my little brother Logan has been working on a project at his office to help out a coworkers kid who also has a scary cancer. The little guy has a very weak immune system so he can't really have visitors. That would be hard on a grownup who understood what was going on-it's heartbreaking for a six year old who is just lonely and afraid. So the people at the agency made these cute t-shirts people can buy and then take a photo of themselves and post it on Facebook for Nico to see. 

So maybe it's because I feel very helpless in the situation with my Uncle, I really want to help this Project Nico spread. Kyle is too young to die too-his first grandbaby is only ten months old and he and Julie were just about to enjoy his retirement. But Nico is way, way too young to die. And to be alone and scared. So check out this video and if you can, if you have $15 to spare and you like doing things that are good, buy a t-shirt and take a photo for Nico. 

I plan to take mine to London and send Nico some photos from the Olympics. 

1994

Yesterday I spent the day playing in the sun with my insanely handsome friend Adam.

Tonight I'm going to see Toad the Wet Sprocket at a small outdoor venue in the middle of nowhere Colorado with two good girlfriends.



I'd say that the 2011 "do epic shit" decree is still going strong.

Fighter

Oh hey did you know that I work for the Olympic Team? I know I so rarely talk about it so it's kind of a mystery.

It you don't care for the Olympics and all the patriotism! rah rah! gold medal! go team! that come with it, this is going to be an annoying blog for the next four months.

But if you like it, we're going to have some fun. I had such amazing experiences in Salt Lake and Vancouver and unfortunately, I don't have much of a record of those Games. I wrote a wrap up of Vancouver that hits quite a few highlights but I wish I had been better about writing as I went. So I'm committing to it publicly-I would love to share some of the behind the scenes excitement as we gear up for what is likely to be an epic Summer Games. For my dedicated little band of readers but also so I never forget what a spectacular experience this is right now. I'm going to have to be grateful for eternity I think.

To kick it off-this video came out today and features one of the hopefuls for the men's gymnastics team. The training footage was all shot right here in Colorado Springs where more than a few future Olympians are likely getting some well earned sleep right now. This is the kind of song that will make my cry at this time of year anyway but when you put it in the context of a kid out chasing his dream to get to London? Yeah, I'm cooked.

Insane in the membrane

In December I set a somewhat lofty goal that I wanted to be in the best shape of my life for the Olympics this summer. Keeping in mind that my job involves being around 525 of the fittest people in the world in various stages of undress for two months, my reasons actually weren't just aesthetic.

I have yet to give up the dream that this body of mine will someday grow a baby and would rather lower the risks my over thirty-fiveness is already bringing to the table. With the exception of a few days in Portland and a few days in Paris (Paris! It's really happening! My sister and her husb and Dr. Lance!) I have to be running operations centers from June 21-Sept 1 and I'd rather not collapse in the middle of the summer because I've been existing on Chik-Fil-A in the lead up.  And you add to that being just a wee bit vain and knowing this summer is chock full of flirtatious situations and I definitely had a sincere desire to make this resolution stick.

But.

I left for Austria five days into 2012. Fifty-eight teenagers, inconvenient meal locations and an insane schedule meant that more days than not I was running on chocolate cookies and Red Bull. I walked to the IOC office approximately 790, 098, 876 per day so I got some exercise, but I watched my best laid plans to wake up early and run along the river die a quick death on pretty much day one.


Lance and I walked and walked and WALKED our way through Germany but we also maybe ate pretty much whatever we wanted. And getting out of a cozy bed on a freezing Berlin morning to do anything but eat the pastries Lance always managed to track down before lazy over here even woke up never seemed terribly appealing.

So there was that. There was also the fact that I am both lazy and unmotivated when it comes to serious exercise programs and I have zero will power when it comes to giving up treats. I have trained for two marathons, run countless other races, biked up all kinds of ridiculously hilly places, hiked The Incline more times than I can count but I have never been good at doing the kind of day in day out committed exercise regimen it takes to truly change your body. I did Tai-Bo for a week. I quit Jillian's six week six-pack in about six days. I really like being active, but I really hate commitment of virtually any kind. (Says the single girl living in an apartment who has only bought her first couch three years ago. This is not news.)

Then Logan's Ironman weekend happened and something apparently snapped. My sister-in-law is busy getting her pre-Luke body back and she pretty much forced me to do these RIDICULOUS workout videos with her. She has always been an athlete so when I protested that I was nursing an SI joint injury she pretty much looked at me like I was a naughty child and told me to suck it up.

We did the workout. And then we ran up a hill. And then we did the workout again. And then we ran up a hill. And then we did the workout again. This joint that had been KILLING ME for a month felt better. The one I had been babying and using as a reason I didn't have to do my runs. Pushed through the pain and came out feeling better. Cliche alert?? But it's true, I wanted to sit on the couch and eat hot tamales but Tasha wasn't hearing no and somehow those workouts lit some little fire I was hoping I had in me but wasn't totally sure.

I copied the videos and brought them home. I'm on Day 17 and I feel kind of like a rock star. I'm getting stronger, sleeping better, making better food choices so I can get through the workouts and not throw up (that maybe happened once) and you guys, my butt looks totally awesome. I am seeing muscles that I never before seen on my own body.

It's a complete bananas time at work right now and I've had some personal rough spots the last few weeks but I get so excited to come home and sweat it all out. I feel so, so, so good. Good physically but also good mentally and emotionally for sticking to this and for doing something that is really hard for me. I don't ever want to get to the point in my life where I just coast. I always want to be walking right up the edge of what feels comfortable. I get to spend this summer with people who have spent their lives shattering what seems possible and I want to get a taste of that myself before I go.

If you are interested in the workout I'm doing, check out Insanity. They are so hard the people in the video can't even last the whole time without breaks but they are working some miracles here at my house.

Here

I just put together a file of athlete artwork and sizing for a women's soccer team camp. Why? Because tomorrow I am heading to New Jersey to do a fitting with twenty-seven hopefuls for the Olympic team. The team can't make it to our Processing site in London so I'm going early to get sizes so we can pre-pack their clothing. I'm kind of beside myself excited about it. First team to see all the gear, first chance to see how things really fit, finally DOING not just PLANNING. I can't wait. I'm sure I'll have a super cheesy post for you about how amazing this whole thing is on Monday night when I get home.

In the meantime, Norah Jones must have written this song just for me. Goodness I love her.