Pause

I've added a leg to my crazy summer travel schedule. 

I'm driving up to Denver tomorrow morning to catch a flight to Idaho Falls where I will meet up with my dad and an assortment of my siblings to attend my Uncle Kyle's funeral. 

I found out Saturday night and my very understanding father told me that he was proud of everything I am up to at the moment and I shouldn't worry about getting to the funeral happening less than 24 hours before I leave for for Olympic Trials in Eugene. But hearing myself explain to the very nice boy who told me to come over when he heard the news that I was too busy with work to go just sounded like a person I don't want to be. So I booked a flight and unless I absolutely have to go in between Eugene and Knoxville, my next day in the office is in September. 

I should definitely be freaking out right now and worrying about a hundred things but I feel remarkably calm. It's hard to explain but as soon as I made the decision to go the funeral and to be there for my dad, I felt like I had passed some kind of life test and the reward is a sense of peace about the summer to come. 

I've been working really hard to two years now to prepare for this. I'm ready, it's time now to have some faith in my abilities and just get to work. It's been an interesting couple of weeks both personally and professionally-I've been learning maybe even more than I wanted to about forgiveness and self-awareness and getting a chance to leave with clean slates all around. 

Tomorrow night I will get to spend some time with a bunch of my favorite people on earth and although I'm very sad for my Uncle's family and for my dad, I do feel tremendous sense of gratitude that I will get to see their faces and draw some strength from my little tribe before I leave.