Over on a message board I frequent there is a battle raging about infidelity. As in, "would you, could you" work through such a thing if it happened to you. I really don't want to get into a similiar discussion here, as in REALLY don't, but one of the responses really struck a chord with me:
I used to think I knew the answer to this.
I don't know a thing, that is the answer.
This has been on my mind in a big way the last few years. The "knowing" thing. The "having all the answers" thing. Turns out I don't really know much about anything. My careful observations of behavior and relationships and motivations and consequences have lead me to believe that all the caveats and deal breakers and hard and fast rules in the world go swiftly out the window when you are presented with real situations involving actual living, breathing people. Maybe it's too many movies where every one dimensional thing works out just as it should and every character reacts the way they are supposed to and says exactly what they mean, and you start to believe there are equations in life that will get you the things you want.
As it turns out, I can't seem to figure out any of those equations. A + B just so rarely seems to equal the C I was hoping for. And people don't always react how you want them to and sometimes their mouths say one thing and their heart means exactly the opposite. Sometimes people who love you hurt your feelings or disappoint you and you have to learn to stop thinking of relationships in terms of baseball strikes. You figure out that there is no peace in being a victim even if it feels justified. It sinks in that forgiving always feels better than carrying baggage around, and that in the end, you only have control over your own behaviour. You can't control your boss or your friends or you family. Just yourself. And if you can let go of unreasonable expectations of everyone and everything around you, it frees you up to notice that most people are a lot more good than they are bad. Most of them are really trying.
Anyway, I want to give more people more chances. I ask God for lots and lots of them and I guess I feel like I owe it to everyone around me to do the same.