I was talking to my friend Greg this week and about weekly church attendance. He made a good comparison between church and exercise-it's really good for you and you know your life if better when you are going and you are always glad afterwards that you did it but it can also be hard, boring, repititious and pretty much the last thing you want to do any given Sunday.
The last few months I have definitely been guilty of just "putting in my miles" as far as church goes. So I was pretty excited when today ended up being one of those wake up and run ten miles and enjoy every second of it kind of church meetings. While I completely believe that church not getting through to me is as much my fault as it is church's, today I came unprepared and my service really felt like it was built just for me. There were two great speakers who said exactly the things about faith and trust in God that I needed to hear. I sobbed my way through most of the meeting, which resulted in a kind member of the bishopric pulling me aside afterwards to see if I was alright. I have been living in a state of "are You even listening to me?" lately and this afternoon I felt like I got a resounding, "yes, and stop worrying!"
We had a lesson modesty in the second hour. I always cringe when we get those because they can get so Salem Witch Hunt-esque but the teacher ended up teaching doctrine instead of listing do's and don'ts so I was able to keep my itchy comment hand down. Then I spent Sunday School having a good chat with some friends I never get to see (yes, I realize that means I didn't go to class. Sue me.).
And that's why I go, that's what gets me through the iffy patches. The sure knowledge that I'll get another Sunday like this one. That things will feel as clear and full as promise as they do today. I have a little questioning and wandering heart and it's easy for me to slip over to worry and doubt, days like today make me certain that there is Someone to gently lead me back to where I belong.