A boy once told me that in the first five minutes of meeting a girl, he would file her under "yes I would date her" or "no I would not date her". I was bothered because that seemed like an awfully snap judgement to make. But when he elaborated, he made a little more sense. His "yes I would date her" file was actually pretty big. And didn't always mean he made a move right away. In fact, sometimes he'd become friends with a "yes" girl instead of asking her out. He was willing to give anyone in the "yes" file a shot at any time. But he insisted that you know pretty quickly if there is some sort of chemisty with someone. It doesn't have to knock you out or anything, but there has to be an initial connection that makes you want to spend more time with that person. I have been thinking about that conversation a little lately and lo and behold...my friend Farrah blogged about it today.
I don't have much to add to what she says and Farrah has a special way of making a point that I think many of you would enjoy so I'll point you in her direction.
Which sort of brings me to another thing I've been thinking about which is online dating. I have really mixed feelings about it and part of it is that it's really hard to gauge that "initial connection" online. I've had a few experiences with boys I met online that didn't go well and then had a delicious romance with a boy I'd interacted with online but was totally ambivalent towards. We met in person through a mutual friend and little sparks flew all over the place. Maybe online dating is just not my bag. In another twist of "wow, are we all on the same page or what" fate, my friend Chloe wrote a great post about it that .pretty much sums up my feelings on the subject.
It is a wonder anyone ever really gets together isn't it folks. But they do. And I think a lot of times we make it way more complicated than it needs to be. If I really believe all this "life plan" business, and I do, I think maybe chilling out a little might be the order of the day.