I don't think I have ever experienced what some women call "baby hunger". I like children, I want to have a few some day and I love playing with the ones that belong to other people but I don't think much about them in my day to day life. For the most part, my life doesn't put me around kids much. I work with adults, I live with adults, until recently I went to church exclusively with adults. I have no nieces or nephews and all of my close friends with kids live far away.
Given my situation, I'm a little fascinated by a couple of experiences I've had over the last few days. Saturday my roommate and I went up to Moorpark to visit our friends and their four week old little girl. It's always fun to hold babies but I honestly couldn't let the child go. When Mariellen wanted a turn I was almost bugged. She had been sleeping on me for the better part of an hour, which is way longer than I usually want to do anything, and I still wasn't ready to give her up. The whole rest of the evening I was just plotting how I could get her back, I even took her while she was crying during dinner-playing it off that I was giving her parents a break.
Then yesterday, my friend Rebecca was in town for a family party. I went with her to a rehearsal for the musical number she and her sisters were performing and one of them had her one year old with her. When the girls started practicing the only baby holding choices were me, two husbands and a couple little cousins under 10. So I took the baby. This child was a snuggler and she immediately burrowed her little face into my shoulder. I melted. I had been holding her for about 15 minutes when her cousins realized she was there and suddenly they were desperate to play with her. I'm not proud of myself but I sort of pretended that the music was too loud and I couldn't hear them asking for her. Then when that didn't really work I tried to move across the room-I just couldn't let go. After a few minutes I realized what a jerk I was being and I put the kid on the couch between the girls. Then I watched like a hawk, hoping they would get tired of her. They didn't, the rehearsal ended and I headed home terribly disappointed at the brevity of my baby-holding time.
I am nowhere near close to having kids. There is no one in my life I'm remotely interested in having kids WITH. But I cannot shake the feeling that even if my brain is not there yet, something in my physical self is saying "come ON, let's just do this already!" I already have a pretty healthy appreciation of the body and the fantastic things it is capable of-there is something extra awesome about it's ability to hijack my brain.
So don't worry, I'm not going to go "Raising Arizona" and steal a baby or anything. But I guess I won't roll my eyes about that "biological clock" anymore. I'm pretty sure it's real. Girl bodies want to make babies whether the owner is on board or not. Who knew?