Tuesday, March 07, 2006

I Don't Want Your Love

My baby sister sent me a CD a couple of weeks ago called "To Hell with Valentine's". One of the tracks was an old Duran Duran song I haven't heard in years. It's living in my ipod now and happens to be on one of the playlists I listen to the most so I'm hearing it alot. I'm a little bit fixated on some of the lyrics:

I don't want your love to bring me down.
I don't want your love so turn it around.

I've been thinking about relationships lately, trying to sort out what is the manifestation of a physical need to be with someone that I think is natural for a healthy 29 year old female, and what is the actual desire to share my life with someone else. I was joking with my sister that my ideal relationship would be one where he lived in another state, and we would talk everyday and see each other regularly, but he wouldn't actually have to upset the balance of my life. For all the complaining I did in my mid-twenties about men, it turns out that I've carved out a pretty satisfying life without one and I am alternately terrified/exhausted when I think about trying to live with one. Can't I just hang out with one, sleep with him when I want to, and go about my own life the rest of the time? As Katherine Hepburn once said, "Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then."

1 comment:

Kelly said...

One of my roommates and I have been discussing a similar thing lately. We're both dating people now, but it seems weird to work the boy into the life. And of course I've been doing it all long distance so once I move back to Boston, it will be even weirder. Like I'll have to hang out with him on weeknights and junk.