When I went in for that massage a couple of weeks ago, the therapist recommended that I come in 2-3 more times in the next few weeks if I really wanted to get rid of my knot. This weekend I went for my second treatment. I like to call it "treatment" because then it doesn't sound like I am some jerk getting weekly massages now. Because while it does feel soooo good, the whole reason I went in the first time was because the giant knot was causing practically the entire right side of my body to go on strike. I have always enjoyed massage but I'm becoming converted to it's medical legitimacy as well.
This week we started face up to try to open up my shoulders a little bit and get me to stop hunching forward all the time like I do when I am at the computer or driving or sitting on my couch making up things to worry about. So the therapist is sitting behind me, working my shoulders and my neck and then he holds my head up with one hand and lifts my back with the other hand to get to the knot. And then he starts kind of laughing and says, "seriously though, re-lax. I've got you, and it's only about three inches if you fall anyway." You know you have got a problem when you are PAYING someone to work the tension out of your body and you still can't seem to chill.
Fortunately that was early in the hour and I was able to concentrate on loosening up (I'm sure this means I need therapy) and I am feeling like we are making real progress. I've been draping myself over the stability ball every night before bed and I can feel an actual difference in the way I stand and sit. But I am a tense little person, and I worry way too much about things that really don't need to take up precious real estate in my brain-especially now that they are deciding to take over my whole body as well. So if anyone has brilliant ideas about how to let. it. go. well, I'm anxiously waiting ; )
Here's an old favorite on the subject. One loaded with memories of this city of mine the last go 'round no less...
8 comments:
oh man. you just reminded me of how much i love that album.
i'm getting my first deep tissue massage tomorrow. i too have horrible tension and knots in my neck, upper back and shoulders. i may need to get some pointers from YOU.
I couldn't begin to tell you how to let go, but your post reminded me of this great Ted talk:
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/sherwin_nuland_on_electroshock_therapy.html
Sherwin Nuland was a talented surgeon who struggled with severe depression (way deeper than what you're talking about) but his story is pretty inspiring, and his "Mantra for My New Life," which is how he started letting go of the obsessive patterns in his thinking, it good (if a little profane) advice for us all ...
I need a medical reason for getting a massage or maybe I should just tell Kent to pass that message on to Santa.
I hope things are starting to loosen up and you're feeling more relaxed. I hate when I feel stiff physically, it really does affect how I feel mentally and emotionally. And good choice in the song. There really is "beauty in the breakdown".
So tell me about this stability ball thing. Do you just lay face up on the stability ball? I have a constant wicked knot in my right shoulder and it sounds like the stability ball might help me too.
PS I heart Imogen Heap. "Let Go" totally got me through the bar exam in July 2005.
I've been trying my whole life to learn to let go and relax. If you figure it out, let me know!
I was in therapy for years because I was unable to let things go. The best advice I ever got was to write things down. Every spiral notebook I ever used in college in now FILLED with thoughts that were takeing up space in my head.
I actually do a few different things.
1) keep pen and paper next to your bed so you can write stuff down. It never fails that you think of something you have to do as you are laying in bed trying to go to sleep. If you right it down you don't have to worry about forgetting it. :)
2) If it is a particular PERSON who is filling your thoughts, you can write a letter to that person and get all the thoughts out of your head. You don't actually send the letter, you just get them down on paper. This can also help you straighten out any confusion or conflict you are feeling toward/about this person.
3) Remember those crappy free flow thought excersices we had to do in Honors English with Ms. Ause? Yep, sit down and free flow your thoughts onto the paper.
Most of the time I know I'm not going to read it again, so it doesn't matter where it is written down, or if I can read my handwriting.
On the other hand, if you know or even think you will need the info again, it is best to write it in a designated notebook in LEGIBLE handwriting.
The common theme here is to write it down to get it out of your head, whether is is for future referance or not.
It works. I have been doing it for years. I almost have to actually go and buy a notebook. All my leftovers from college are almost full. :)
Sorry this is so long, and I hope it doesn't sound TOO much like I am beating a dead horse. :)
Early evening meditation. I took a class once on stress managment and the teacher taught us several types of meditation. I am always amazed at how more relaxed and calm I am when ever I practice for 10 or 15 minutes a day.
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