Sunday, February 17, 2008

Touchdown

While I have an overwhelming list of pros about this big move, the one little con is that I really, really don't want to move back to Boston. I was ready for a geographic change and I'm excited beyond reason about the job, but I haven't been able to shake the dread at going back to city I just wasn't sad to leave the last time around. I got on that plane two years ago without shedding a single tear so my stomach has been in knots about returning. It is ever a good idea to go back to someone who kicked you around last time? Could this place be different a second time around?

I know the people around me last week were probably sick of me acting like a scared child about this whole AMAZING opportunity and that's probably why I managed to climb on that airplane yesterday. We landed and I cried. The friend who picked me up asked me if I was glad to be back and I didn't know how to answer.

Then.

I got to the temporary corporate housing I'll be calling home for a bit right down in the heart of the city. I unpacked a little and then I headed out to find something to eat. It was cold enough but not obscenely so and there were people everywhere. The shops were full, the restaurants were crowded. I walked all over the place, stopped in enough shoe and clothing stores to remind myself that I am not stuck in down coats and boots for the rest of forever and ended up eating delicious pumpkin ravioli in a bustling little cafe/bookstore on Newbury Street. There is an energy to this city that somehow slipped my mind. Or that I didn't really take advantage of the last time I was here...that might be the true issue here. I have this uneasy feeling that I kept Boston at arms length last time. I was pretty busy hating my job, living in the suburbs and being sad about dumb boys to have put much effort into making this my home. So I made a decision last night at the Shaw's market near my hotel that I live here now. I am committed to this place. I will let myself put down a root or two. Stay tuned.

6 comments:

rachelle said...

i am so jealous that you get a boston do-over. i want one. seriously, i'm so jealous. good luck to you!

CoCo said...

Too bad we couldn't swap. The slightest mention of Newbury Street makes me feel homesick (No, I'm not moving back!). I hope it sticks, but not forever, this time around. Please go get a breakfast sandwich from Darwin's for me. Real soon.

Dainon. said...

Cue Beastie Boy's "Root Down."

Kelly said...

Wow, that sounds so familiar! The second time around Boston just hit me completely differently somehow. I now say to Jason that I like New England when we talk about where we're going to end up and he says, "What?! You hate New England!" Mmm, not anymore actually.

I don't know what did it, but I liked the feeling of the city and the people a lot better. Maybe I also held the city at arms length the first time, but knew when I came back that I was probably here to stay for awhile so I let myself enjoy it.

Welcome back!

Whits said...

welcome home. can't wait to play!

Brittany said...

Congratulations on the new job. I can only imagine everything that Boston has to offer you. Take advantage of it!