Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Give in

Alright fine, I'm just going to let myself admit that I'm freaked out about this whole Boston business.

I know-moving to a cool new city to take a great new job really should not be this terrifying. Especially for a person who has not exactly been sitting around doing nothing. This is not my first big change, nor my first new job, and not even my first cross country move (third! it's my third!).

I haven't quit a job before though (my last job was with the Olympics-those just end!) and it's been five and a half years since I was the new girl. The last two times I started over it was only half way over. My job has made me crazy for most of the time I have been there, but it's a crazy that I understand. A crazy I've gotten really good at navigating. I like being really great at what I do and I have some pretty high expectations for myself at the new place. And um, I'm pretty sure they have some as well. I have moments of full scale panic about having accepted yet another job with tons of travel and that nagging fear that God is advancing my career because a family of my own is not in the cards for me.

However, being afraid-and being open about being afraid-sure brings the kindness of friends out of the woodwork. I have gotten so many sweet emails and phone calls from folks who just want to offer nice bits of advice. The theme seems to be that it's OK to be scared. It's not OK to let fear keep you from doing something you know is right for you. So that's what I am trying to do-I'm letting myself be scared. It doesn't make me weak if I'm nervous about the unknown as long as I keep walking towards it.


f*bomb. said...

Wow. Now I feel a little disappointed in myself for not calling or giving you advice. I was just going to ask if we could kick it and maybe go on a run for old time's sake and maybe hit you up for anything you might have stolen from the company store-room.

I have no worries about you, Miss Kate. Boston loves you and it was only a matter of time before it got you back. You're too smart and too motivated to laze about in SoCal any longer. You have my utmost confidence and good cheer.

But I still hate that you're leaving me. Boo.

Katie said...

Thanks for that last paragraph. I'm also taking on a new, big, scary challenge and I can't even bring myself to write about yet and your words really helped.

chloe elizabeth said...

You are my hero! I know I shouldn't put people on pedestals, but I do.

Damian said...

Steps to normalcy:

Take a deep breath

Say to self: Self I am FREAKING OUT

Self responds: But I am Katie, that's what I do

Say to self: GOOD then all is normal.

then, more breathing.

Kelly said...

As someone who has been the new girl more times than she would like in the past few years, I know you can do it. It's really great to come into something you're excited about and to feel like you really fit (ie, my new job that I started Monday!) You're going to totally rock the house, FYI.

Whits said...

Will you get here already? Seriously. I can't wait.

the pingels said...

Katie! Holy Hannah I guess I haven't been up-to-date on your life for a few weeks. Congrats on the Boston move! I say jump in with both feet and never look back. Change is good... It gives us opportunities to stretch and grow and trust that there is someone to catch us when we fall. Kudos, Kate... you're a champ, and they're going to love you.