Redacted

One of the most profoundly disappointing things about reaching adulthood has been that I have yet to feel like an actual adult. I do a lot of adult things, and I have plenty of adult responsibilities. But fundamentally, I still feel like one day the alarm clock will go off and I will be late for gym class.

I have really been looking forward to coming home for the holiday, getting away from my regular routine and being able to take a somewhat objective look at my life. There has been some major upheaval as of late and I was excited at the prospect of decompressing a little and then strategizing about how to fix the things that might be broken.

What I always forget is that the lines between the adult me and the kid me get blurry when I come home and I end up realizing how very little I actually have figured out. I'm still bossing my siblings around and overreacting to dumb stuff. I'd probably still be afraid of big black dogs if there were any here in the neighborhood.

So today when I found myself completely overwhelmed by a whole slew of decisions that I have to make in the next month or so-decisions I wish I had at some point been brave enough to make on my own instead of waiting until I was forced-my brain decided that the solution was to just "grow up katie". And for some reason, caring so much about some stupid blog seemed like a really junior high thing and I decided to just shut it down before I could change my mind.

Real grown up huh? The truth is that the older I get, the less I even WANT to have it all figured out. There is something sort of exhilarating about knowing that I can still disappoint myself. Because I think that means I can also suprise myself now and then. So there are some things I'll probably be quitting in the next little while, but the blog that I love won't be one of them.

The End

Well like all good things, I think it's time for this blog to come to an end. It's been a really fun ride but I find myself increasingly at a loss for things to say. Perhaps I'm just feeling like it really it a fairly self indulgent exercise and as I have no children to show off to relatives, I think it's the right moment to say goodbye.

I might be back from time to time with an update since a blog is a nice way to keep in touch.

Thanks for being such good little readers over the last few years and Happy 2008 to you all!!

Countdown

You know what is the best feeling in the world? The one after your last final when all you have to do is go home and goof around for three weeks with no responsibilities.

The next best is clearing off your crazy desk at your insane job and walking out to go home to Utah for two weeks.

Don't be too jealous though-work still has me by the blackberry ; )

Shout Out

Happy Freakin' Birthday to one of my absolute favorite human beings.



Miss Corey is one year older today so if you see her or talk to her, give her some birthday love. 'Cause she's awesome.

Owl

It doesn't matter what time I got up, how tired I am, or how absurdly early I have to get up to catch a plane I don't want to be on-this girl can't make herself get into bed before midnight.

If I manage to stay up past 9-which of course I can do-then the night bird in me wakes up at full capacity and I just. can't. shut. down. The weirdest part is that I can't get my brain to turn off at night, and yet it doesn't ever want to get up one second earlier than it has to.

Four hours of sleep it is.

Bat Dance

I'm not one to get overly excited about big summer blockbusters, nor do I freak out over comic books. I don't really like dark movies and I'm not a huge fan of action either.

So I have no idea what the new Batman movies have done to my brain because I am beside myself with excitement over the next installment "Dark Knight".

Perhaps it's my deep and abiding affection for Christian Bale that dates back to his "Newsies" glory. Maybe it's because if I were a boy I would get crushes on girls like Maggie Gyllenhaal. Maybe it's the new Batpod.

But I think the real draw for this movie is the Batman character himself. While I liked the Micheal Keaton Batman films just fine, Christian Bale did a much better job in "Batman Begins" of giving us a very conflicted hero. The kid saw his parent's murdered for crying out loud, he should be a little bit broken. His loneliness appeals to every bone in my stereotypical "let me take care of you!" body.

I have zero interest in seeing "I Am Legend" but apparently there is a killer trailer for "Dark Knight" in the previews so I just might have to fit in a matinee over the holidays.

For now, check out this one.

Three Things

That I love. 1) George Michael in any of his various incarnations 2) My friend Rebecca 3) The ukelele


Cover: Last Christmas by WHAM from Veggie Girl on Vimeo.

Harrassed

I was at a bookstore picking up a couple of things before heading to a meeting the other night. I was wearing some new pants that if I may brag for just a moment-make my butt look awesome. As I was leaving there were some people outside the store soliciting signatures for a petition. I really didn't have the time or desire to talk to them so when the guy asked me if I had a minute I tried to politely say no and keep walking. To which he yells after me, in a construction worker-esque tone, "well you look good walkin' away." And the feminist side of me kind of wanted to turn around and ask him if he really thought talking to me like that would make me sign his stupid petition.

But the really girlie part of me looked at her and said, "but seriously, these pants really are fabulous."

Believe

Last week I was sitting in a meeting in a hotel lobby and Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" started to play. It was a fairly casual meeting but I guess it gives you a bit on insight into my personality that I not only started to sing along with the song, but eventually had to stand up to give my lip-syncing performance the emotional punch this anthem deserves.

I bought Journey's Greatest Hits when I was in high school and played it so much I wore the tape out. I did a story about people's after school jobs for our school news station and used "Anyway You Want It" even though it didn't really fit the story and let's be honest here, no one between the ages of about 28 and 40 can listen to "Faithfully" without dredging up memories of some long-lost love.

I was goofing around on You Tube today and found this and it made me very happy.

Noooo!

A boy at a party told me last night that "blogging is basically just online scrapbooking".

Great, you can take the girl out of the Wasatch Front but apparently you can't take the Wasatch Front out of the girl.

Distracted

I lost my camera this weekend somewhere between the rental car dropoff in Phoenix and the US Airways gate in Orange County. All week I've been hoping that it fell into the hands of a person who would see that my business card is in the pocket of the case and he or she would call me to arrange it's safe return. No such luck, and now that Sales Meeting is over and I have my full capacity to think back, I'm really really bummed.

So this blog might be a bit less illustrated until my grieving period is over and I can talk myself into replacing her.

!

Oh Sales Meeting, how I do love thee! All the early morning meetings and late night dinners and furious presentation prep.

Honestly, I've done this every six months for almost six years and every single time I promise I will relax and not worry so much...and here I sit, a frazzled little mess still putting the final touches on my 2008 plan. And feeling so sad that I lost my camera yesterday somewhere between a gas station in Phoenix and my house.

But here is a song that I love to sing my guts out to.

Love Song