I said on Facebook today that I have zero regrets about the move and for the first time in a looong time, no getaway plan at the two year mark. We were in Denver on Saturday at the New Belgium Brewery "Tour de Fat", riding our bikes on a loop through downtown with 5000 other lunatics in costumes and I thought, "oh Colorado, I am so clearly in love with you right now."
In a lot of way I feel like I have been making up for some years of my life when I was too scared or too worried to live my life that way I wanted to. Last month as I was fighting my way up Hoosier Pass I got feeling pretty discouraged. My riding partner happened to be a four-time Olympian and I had no prayer of keeping up with her. Which I knew but once I told her I'd see her at the top, I heard a little voice saying, "ok seriously, maybe this just isn't something you are capable of. You are not an athlete little girl, maybe you can't get up this hill." And then I said a couple of words to that voice that I don't think my mother would be thrilled to hear about and I sucked it up and made it to the top of that pass (elevation 11, 532 thankyouverymuch). I don't even like to DRIVE those high mountain passes. I'm always half afraid I'm going to slide right off a switchback. So as I was flying down those very curves with just a helmet between me and certain death, I felt like I was punching multiple long held fears right in the face.
It's been maybe my favorite discovery of adulthood that you can reinvent yourself as many times as you want. You can learn new things, you can make new friends, you can work on your flaws, you can spend years thinking you are not brave enough for something and then one day you find yourself at the top of a rock wall and you actually aren't afraid at all.
It's been two good years. I'm pretty excited to see what the next Coloradoversary post looks like.