Nico

We found out over the weekend that my dad's brother, his only brother, has an aggressive brain cancer and doesn't have much time left. 

I haven't seen my Uncle Kyle in years. He and my dad had a falling out once upon a time and although they patched things up, we were all adults by then and had drifted away. But when I was little, his kids were the cousins we spent lots of time with and I still remember his wife letting us watch The Dark Crystal at a sleepover. 

Much like when my Aunt passed away last year, I'm sad for their family for sure, but I'm worried for my dad who is about to be the last surviving member of his immediate family and pretty much his extended family as well. My father, who spent the better part of two years on dialysis and is walking around with a stranger's kidney, outliving everyone else.  The universe is funny. He's not a particularly demonstrative fella but years ago he told me in a letter that "just because emotions are not easily expressed does not mean they don't run deep." I know my dad is sad. And we are sad for him. 

Oddly, my little brother Logan has been working on a project at his office to help out a coworkers kid who also has a scary cancer. The little guy has a very weak immune system so he can't really have visitors. That would be hard on a grownup who understood what was going on-it's heartbreaking for a six year old who is just lonely and afraid. So the people at the agency made these cute t-shirts people can buy and then take a photo of themselves and post it on Facebook for Nico to see. 

So maybe it's because I feel very helpless in the situation with my Uncle, I really want to help this Project Nico spread. Kyle is too young to die too-his first grandbaby is only ten months old and he and Julie were just about to enjoy his retirement. But Nico is way, way too young to die. And to be alone and scared. So check out this video and if you can, if you have $15 to spare and you like doing things that are good, buy a t-shirt and take a photo for Nico. 

I plan to take mine to London and send Nico some photos from the Olympics. 

1994

Yesterday I spent the day playing in the sun with my insanely handsome friend Adam.

Tonight I'm going to see Toad the Wet Sprocket at a small outdoor venue in the middle of nowhere Colorado with two good girlfriends.



I'd say that the 2011 "do epic shit" decree is still going strong.

Fighter

Oh hey did you know that I work for the Olympic Team? I know I so rarely talk about it so it's kind of a mystery.

It you don't care for the Olympics and all the patriotism! rah rah! gold medal! go team! that come with it, this is going to be an annoying blog for the next four months.

But if you like it, we're going to have some fun. I had such amazing experiences in Salt Lake and Vancouver and unfortunately, I don't have much of a record of those Games. I wrote a wrap up of Vancouver that hits quite a few highlights but I wish I had been better about writing as I went. So I'm committing to it publicly-I would love to share some of the behind the scenes excitement as we gear up for what is likely to be an epic Summer Games. For my dedicated little band of readers but also so I never forget what a spectacular experience this is right now. I'm going to have to be grateful for eternity I think.

To kick it off-this video came out today and features one of the hopefuls for the men's gymnastics team. The training footage was all shot right here in Colorado Springs where more than a few future Olympians are likely getting some well earned sleep right now. This is the kind of song that will make my cry at this time of year anyway but when you put it in the context of a kid out chasing his dream to get to London? Yeah, I'm cooked.

Insane in the membrane

In December I set a somewhat lofty goal that I wanted to be in the best shape of my life for the Olympics this summer. Keeping in mind that my job involves being around 525 of the fittest people in the world in various stages of undress for two months, my reasons actually weren't just aesthetic.

I have yet to give up the dream that this body of mine will someday grow a baby and would rather lower the risks my over thirty-fiveness is already bringing to the table. With the exception of a few days in Portland and a few days in Paris (Paris! It's really happening! My sister and her husb and Dr. Lance!) I have to be running operations centers from June 21-Sept 1 and I'd rather not collapse in the middle of the summer because I've been existing on Chik-Fil-A in the lead up.  And you add to that being just a wee bit vain and knowing this summer is chock full of flirtatious situations and I definitely had a sincere desire to make this resolution stick.

But.

I left for Austria five days into 2012. Fifty-eight teenagers, inconvenient meal locations and an insane schedule meant that more days than not I was running on chocolate cookies and Red Bull. I walked to the IOC office approximately 790, 098, 876 per day so I got some exercise, but I watched my best laid plans to wake up early and run along the river die a quick death on pretty much day one.


Lance and I walked and walked and WALKED our way through Germany but we also maybe ate pretty much whatever we wanted. And getting out of a cozy bed on a freezing Berlin morning to do anything but eat the pastries Lance always managed to track down before lazy over here even woke up never seemed terribly appealing.

So there was that. There was also the fact that I am both lazy and unmotivated when it comes to serious exercise programs and I have zero will power when it comes to giving up treats. I have trained for two marathons, run countless other races, biked up all kinds of ridiculously hilly places, hiked The Incline more times than I can count but I have never been good at doing the kind of day in day out committed exercise regimen it takes to truly change your body. I did Tai-Bo for a week. I quit Jillian's six week six-pack in about six days. I really like being active, but I really hate commitment of virtually any kind. (Says the single girl living in an apartment who has only bought her first couch three years ago. This is not news.)

Then Logan's Ironman weekend happened and something apparently snapped. My sister-in-law is busy getting her pre-Luke body back and she pretty much forced me to do these RIDICULOUS workout videos with her. She has always been an athlete so when I protested that I was nursing an SI joint injury she pretty much looked at me like I was a naughty child and told me to suck it up.

We did the workout. And then we ran up a hill. And then we did the workout again. And then we ran up a hill. And then we did the workout again. This joint that had been KILLING ME for a month felt better. The one I had been babying and using as a reason I didn't have to do my runs. Pushed through the pain and came out feeling better. Cliche alert?? But it's true, I wanted to sit on the couch and eat hot tamales but Tasha wasn't hearing no and somehow those workouts lit some little fire I was hoping I had in me but wasn't totally sure.

I copied the videos and brought them home. I'm on Day 17 and I feel kind of like a rock star. I'm getting stronger, sleeping better, making better food choices so I can get through the workouts and not throw up (that maybe happened once) and you guys, my butt looks totally awesome. I am seeing muscles that I never before seen on my own body.

It's a complete bananas time at work right now and I've had some personal rough spots the last few weeks but I get so excited to come home and sweat it all out. I feel so, so, so good. Good physically but also good mentally and emotionally for sticking to this and for doing something that is really hard for me. I don't ever want to get to the point in my life where I just coast. I always want to be walking right up the edge of what feels comfortable. I get to spend this summer with people who have spent their lives shattering what seems possible and I want to get a taste of that myself before I go.

If you are interested in the workout I'm doing, check out Insanity. They are so hard the people in the video can't even last the whole time without breaks but they are working some miracles here at my house.

Here

I just put together a file of athlete artwork and sizing for a women's soccer team camp. Why? Because tomorrow I am heading to New Jersey to do a fitting with twenty-seven hopefuls for the Olympic team. The team can't make it to our Processing site in London so I'm going early to get sizes so we can pre-pack their clothing. I'm kind of beside myself excited about it. First team to see all the gear, first chance to see how things really fit, finally DOING not just PLANNING. I can't wait. I'm sure I'll have a super cheesy post for you about how amazing this whole thing is on Monday night when I get home.

In the meantime, Norah Jones must have written this song just for me. Goodness I love her.

Crushing

Tonight I did the Incline the fastest I ever have thanks to my insanely fit friend Jess.  Then I  came home and successfully changed a back bike tire thanks to some stellar over the phone assistance from my brother Logan. 

Finally, I sat in the hot tub and listened to this song like a hundred times. I would sell little pieces of my soul to the Devil for this voice. 

Lay down, lay down, lay it all down
Let your white birds smile up
At the ones who stand and frown

Oh my goodness I sure love spring. 

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

One thing I have not done enough this year is go to rock shows. I lost some momentum being in Europe for so much of the beginning of the year and my schedule hasn't allowed for as much slipping up to Denver as it did last year.

But Friday I happened to run into a coworker I've always thought was cool but didn't really know and she mentioned she wanted to see Deer Tick and I mentioned I wanted to see Deer Tick and the next thing I knew, we were buying tickets to Deer Tick.

I had heard their shows were good but after losing an expensive earring in a Beastie Boys "Fight Your Right" cover induced mosh pit, well, I decided I was truly in love. I got a fair amount of beer spilled on me and flirted with the cute Denver guys that are 1/3 of the thrill of going up there for shows and had just the night I needed.

This is one of my favorite Deer Tick tunes. Still sad I missed seeing the Black Keys last month but this was the kind of good old fashioned LOUD MUSIC I was craving.

This I know

Last night someone I care very deeply about managed to hurt me fairly deeply and I think pretty permanently. I don't really want to go into details about it but the gist is, I spent a long time giving someone the benefit of the doubt and it turns out that Oprah quote is really true, "when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."

So this isn't going to be a post about getting my heart broken. This is a post about how grateful I am that my friend Jimmy talked to me until I could fall asleep last night, and that my friend Kristin listened to a very long and sad post mortem without once telling me "I told you so" and that my mom and my sister and my sister-in-law all bit their tongues as well. That I had a whole bunch of  friends that made me laugh today and reminded me of all the ways I am loved.

My dear friend Damian asked me if I was listening to sad girl music today and when I said that I was, he reminded me that it's much better to listen to things that will make you smile. He reminded me of this one that felt oh so applicable to my 2012.



I'm going to make it through this year if it kills me.

And be grateful for all the good people that will help me do it.

Ironed Out

Over the past few years my siblings and I have trained for and finished a few marathons, a bike race from Logan to Jackson Hole, going on six years worth of Wasatch Back races, 24 hour mountain bike races and countless half marathons, triathlons, and 5 and 10ks. We know how to set a lofty goal, work for it, and do it.

But still. When Logan announced awhile back that he was going to do the St. George Ironman, I think of all of may have first thought "wait really?" An Ironman. That is a very serious thing. The people I knew who were Ironman finishers were also people who had done things like won Paralympic Gold Medals.

My brother is a determined dude though and with the support of his lovely wife, he trained his guts out and invited us all to St. George to watch him cross the finish line. It's a wacko time at work and I wasn't sure if taking a few days off was a good idea but when I talked to my Ironman friend Susan I realized it wasn't even a question. You go. So Thursday night I flew to Las Vegas and got picked up by a van full of sleeping nephews, one of whom was THIS guy who we had tried to shake loose back in December.

Luke Clifford-no one knows where those blue eyes came from

We got back to St. George pretty late but not so late that we didn't have time to go out on the course and spray paint Logan's name on the asphalt near the top of a few brutal climbs.

Illegal? 

The next day was a blur of crazy workouts, Cafe Rio, more family arriving, making signs and tees for the nephs, staying up too late and strategizing over how to see Logan as many times as we could. 

Racing with Morgan

Aunt Katie brought markers. Oops. 

Watching finisher video

Oh Cafe Rio. We must. 

Brother, nephew, happy girl

After years of seeing these at other races I had to make them for the boys

Family joke

Surprise Callie visit-no one can keep a straight face

And then it was race day. Christopher and Tasha live on the bike course so we got to hang out at the house and see him multiple times.

I can't event..

Street Party

Love

Sisters

Auntie

Mommy

Tats

Grandpa

Uncle

Emily and Tasha and I snuck downtown to see if we could catch him at the transition from bike to run. And we could!

Getting sunscreened up

His St. Christopher medallion

Hey cool guy 

Off he goes

We went out on to the marathon course where the runners had to do three loops past the same place. So we cheered for Logan but we also did the Thriller dance for a lot of hot and tired triathletes and tried to get a smile out of as many as we could. 

Cutest grandparents

Seriously, my heart 

fanzzz 

Party time

Emily and Kristen showing some love

I missed taking any photo at the finish but right before 10:00 Logan became an Ironman.  And about five minutes after he finished he was all smiles telling us about the race. My mom managed to capture some of his chattiness describing how hard the course was

It was such an amazing day and so fun to be there with so many of my all time favorite people. I really, really needed the break from all things Olympic and it was nice to go on walks and drink Diet Cokes with coconut puree and hold babies and talk and talk and talk. 

I'm so proud of Logan. And thrilled with all these cute in-laws I have who love and support my siblings. 

I got back last night and work was breakneck speed at usual today. It didn't stop and I have to catch up but this was the right thing to do. I am proud of a lot of things these days but I'm mostly glad that I still have my priorities straight. With these people is the best place I could ever be.

It Takes More

I sit next to the woman who books every single ticket for the athletes and staff going to London this summer. If you figure that tickets cost an average of $1500 and that between the Olympics and the Paralympics, we send almost 2000 people, that's a tab of approximately $3 million bones. And unlike every other country in the world, not a penny of that money will come from the US Government. Team USA is 100% funded by sponsors and donors.

Friends, I know that in the course of your lives, the Olympics have inspired you. I just know they have. You've had a personal experience watching the Games and you remember where you were when Michael Phelps won that eighth medal, or when Kerri Strug stuck that landing. Or when Greg Louganis hit his head. Or when Dan Jansen fell again. And then when he finally won gold. The Olympic Games are one of the last events in our insanely paced and highly specialized world that we still manage to experience all together. I think that is one of the reasons I love this movement so much. There is a TON of BS involved in the modern Olympics. Sometimes it honestly feels like the athletes are an afterthought. But in the end, the stuff you remember, the moments that give you the chills, those have nothing to do with who the sponsors were or what the athletes were wearing-it's sons of illegal immigrants like Henry Cejudo winning gold medals or gracious losers like Lolo Jones who come back stronger the next time.

And for you as an American, those Olympic moments have been free. You just get those. And you probably sort of think that Nike and McDonald's and Coca-Cola take care of the team. You likely don't know the average Olympic athletes makes about $20K a year and in plenty of sports, even Olympic gold isn't going to bring you much fame and fortune. The USOC provides funding that allows these athletes to train and maybe only have to have ONE odd job to keep food on the table.

So when I tell you that we have a fundraising program called RAISE OUR FLAG going on right now, I hope you will look at the amount of Olympic memories you have had in your life and that you will consider buying a stitch in our flag. It's a $12 donation and you get to own a stitch on the flag the athletes will carry to the Games. It's pretty cool and it's pretty important. The rest of the world continues to dump government money into Olympic programs and we just aren't going to do that. We're going to keep asking our kind friends and neighbors to chip in. And I like it that way. I like thinking that we're all working together to make sure our best and brightest get to London to represent all of us.

You can learn more about the program here. Come on America, let's do this together.

Twisted

I got a very out of the blue text this week from a boy I spent a little time with last fall. It ended really badly with a situation that made me feel like I was on a bad reality TV show and resulted in some serious rethinking of the kind of people I was allowing in my life.

So I know he's bad news, but a boy doesn't pop up after five months just to say "hi". It's usually something super nice about missing you or thinking about you or something else that you would totally have fallen prey to when you were 25. I am not always good at standing my ground when it comes to someone I really cared about but who didn't behave well.  I tend to give second chances and believe that "things will be different". That can be a really terrible dating strategy unfortunately soI was really proud of myself when I was perfectly nice but didn't allow myself to get sucked back into anything.

This little song came on a show I was watching today and I couldn't help but smile a little bit. Just because  you can be strong and say "no" that doesn't mean your mind doesn't wander back to perfect first kisses and whispered admissions of tender feelings.



I've been frustrated lately with the complete and utter lack of any kind of romantic developments in my life. Sometimes it's nice to get a reminder that there have in the past been, and perhaps in the future will be, gentlemen who think I'm smart and funny and that my eyes are amazing.

Listen to Me

The first time I heard Jeff Buckley's cover of "Hallelujah" I was sitting in my car outside a movie theater in Boston. I had just moved and I didn't know anyone, it was bitterly cold and the boy I was crazy about was 3000 miles away. I cried through the whole thing.

It's a beautiful song but then every TV show known to man has used it for some dramatic effect (including my beloved The OC) and it sort of lost it's ability to choke me up.

BUT THEN-my friend Heather posted this version yesterday and I got those familiar chills again. This one was recorded in a church and features lead vocals by that enigmatic Daniel Blue from Motopony. His voice does all manner of incredible things here but I think the backup arrangement is what really sends it over the edge for me.

Sigh, singing is the talent I covet the most. Can you even imagine being able to do this?



Perfection.

Big Apple

I think I may have to spend all of 2013 asleep because a) this year is going to wear me out and b) I feel bad for any year that has to follow this one.

I got to spend the last week in New York mixing work and fun-often at the same time-and seeing a whole bunch of faces I love and miss. I don't want to sound like braggy mcbraggerson but here are some highlights....

*spending the weekend with my dear Jed, his delightful boyfriend and their two roommates Craig and Derek. We ate yummy things, shopped and laughed and laughed and laughed.

Sunday brunch on the Upper West Side

Shopping

Boys hailing cabs

Girl shoes, boy shoes

*my friend Kristin randomly being in New York for 48 hours and getting to sit in a restaurant for two hours with her catching up and planning our eventual take over of the company she just joined.

*finally getting to meet a replikate reader who had kindly been saying nice things about this blog for many years. It was just a few minutes in the lobby after a long day for both of us but such a treat to finally get to see her in the flesh.

*my pal Dallas and I almost not getting to see each other and then a fortuitous cancellation of plans meant we finally got to catch up after many NYC near misses.

*my coworker Jon and I basically doing whatever we wanted on the set of The Today Show. We unveiled the Closing Ceremonies outfits last week and had several other segments showcasing various athletes. Jon was handling PR and I was the apparel police. I met the first black woman to win a Gold medal in 1948, shook hands with Missy Franklin's mom and nearly trampled Julie Andrews on the stairs.

A Today Show cameraman took this for Jon and me. We couldn't stop laughing.

Jason Richardson and Allyson Felix in two pieces from the Nike London collection. You'll probably see these two on a medals stand this summer. 

I maybe tried to put a women's XL on a water polo player. Oops. 

Getting miked up to talk about the Closing Ceremonies uniforms

Countdown clock-this time I have a head

Alice Coachman-Gold medalist in High Jump from 1948. Pretty freakin' awesome to meet her.

*after the Today Show we went down to Times Square for the 100 Days Out Celebration that included a BMX jump, a Donald Trump visit and me running into like a million people I love. I also scurried around like a madwoman making sure the 60 Olympic hopefuls onsite had jackets when it got a little nippy and that no one was wearing a rogue big cat or three stripes. Apparel police!

The Donald with Diana Lopez and Tim Morehouse. People go nuts for this guy. 

Our dapper Director of Consumer Products and my contact from Ralph Lauren celebrating after a successful launch segment.

Just Carl Lewis, Greg Louganis and Shannon Miller on stage. No big deal right?

BMXers on Times Square. So cool.

Caught our Chief Communications Officer looking super debonaire (he was ordering pizza)

*My last night in New York, we had dinner at Jed's again. We wrapped up at about ten and I was getting ready to leave, Jed got a little glint in his eye. "So my friend does this thing on Thursday nights where he invites a different Broadway star to come sing in a tiny little theater-starts at 11, you game?" So my high school theater nerd senses started quivering and suddenly, Jed and Amanda and I were sitting in the front row listening to Julie Reiber sing the songs from Wicked that SHE SANG WHEN SHE PLAYED ELPHABA ON BROADWAY. After Julie was done, the host does an open mic segment where all kinds of Broadway chorus members get up and sing their favorite show tunes. It was unreal-one after another these amazing voices for almost two hours. We paid all of $5 to sit there.  At the end of the night, Jed's friend had everyone in the room get up onstage and sing "Seasons of Love" together. It was like some kind of surreal dream come true. We ended up right next to another Broadway Elphaba and the girl who played Glinda and is now on "Smash." My 15 year old self was having a nervous breakdown. 

Oh you know,  just onstage with a bunch of Broadway stars. Normal thursday. 

I got home Friday and pretty much slept all day Saturday. It's mid-April and I already feel like I've had enough incredible experiences to last me ten years. I feel incredibly blessed right now and I'm trying very hard to enjoy every second of it. The pace and the pressure takes it's toll now and then and I have anxious nights where I hardly sleep a wink. But for the most part, it's a ride I can't believe I'm getting to take.

The best part though? In two weeks I'll be in St. George watching my little brother complete his first Ironman and getting to spend time with my nephews. And of all the cool things happening in 2012, this is what I'm looking forward to most. Shaking hands with Olympic legends, flirting with water polo players, eating at fancy restaurants and going to cool parties still can't hold a candle to being with the people I love. Of all the accomplishments in my life, keeping my priorities straight is probably the thing of which I am the most proud.

Friday

I went to New York this week, I left this morning at 6 am. I have more to say but oh my oh my I love that city. 

Father's Day

Several years ago (eight of them to be exact-time is starting to feel like a joke) I was getting on a plane back to Boston after a day of meetings in New York. It's a short trip so I just grabbed one of the lame free magazines they have in the terminal for people like me who would likely be on their blackberries anyway.

I happened to pick up a preview for Men's Health (what?) that had an article about fatherhood with 10 lessons from a "wise guy who's done doing the dad thing." The piece reduced me to a complete mess in my seat and I have since dragged that magazine through two more country moves and then here to Colorado. I read it every so often and I read it A LOT after I get my heart broken to remind myself what kind of guy I want playing dad to my future kids. It's a terrific article and although I've never been able to find much more than this online, you get the gist.

So I was pretty thrilled a few weeks ago when my dear friend from college wrote to tell me he has a book coming out called "Dad Rules" -a collection of some of the advice he has picked up in his years as a father to four beautiful daughters and one baby boy.

I met Treion my sophomore year at Southern Utah University. He was South African and really handsome so he became something of an instant celebrity at our small town school. We delighted in getting him to say things with his cool accent and kept him up way too late on school nights entertaining us.

Fortunately Treion was far more than a sophomore year novelty and we stayed good friends throughout the rest of school. We worked in the campus bookstore together and he holds the distinction of being the only candidate for Student Body President I ever supported who actually won. He's quite simply one of the nicest and most humble guys I know and over the years watching him become a husband and father and take it incredibly seriously has been a delight.

I was lucky enough to get an advanced copy of the book-I ended up reading the whole thing in one sitting and feeling the same way I did as I read that article on the plane.

I love that we live in an era where being a good dad is cool. I love that men are more involved with their children's lives than ever before, and I really, really love having so many wonderful examples of outstanding fathers in my own life.

Treion's book comes out this Tuesday and if you are a dad, you have a dad, or you know a dad, you should pick it up.  Even though my three brothers TOTALLY RULE at being dads, I'm getting one for each of them.

My brother being an awesome dad. 

                                     

Girls Girls Girls

This week one of my coworkers invited to me to what he called "E's fourth birthday or really, an excuse for the adults to drink beer and listen to music on a sunny day." They were also getting a bounce house so obviously I was in.

So Friday night I braved the toy section at Target, pretty excited to buy little girl stuff for a change. Imagine how my excitement turning to horror as I realized that little girl's toys are actually THE WORST. Everything is pink and apparently little girls like hair, makeup, clothes, horses, nails, shoes and dolls with giant breasts. Jon and his wife are smart, cool people with two smart, cool daughters and I just couldn't imagine they would be thrilled for me to walk in with something wearing a halter top. I walked around and around until I found a Lego set made just for girls. It was pink, and apparently you build a cute pink house but it was definitely something smart and more aspirational than the ten thousand items you can buy so your little girl can grow up to be a princess.

When I was a preteen, my mom wouldn't let me read The Babysitter's Club books or the Sweet Valley High books. I was a pretty obedient kid and instead, I spent a summer reading all the L.M. Montgomery books. When I did finally sneak and read a BSC book, even my teenage brain understood that while there was nothing particularly offensive about the series, there was certainly a disproportionate emphasis on boys and clothes and popularity. Meanwhile, Anne Shirley and Emily Starr were imaginative young writers who had adventures and kindred spirits and went to college and didn't worry about soul mates until they had the careers they had dreamed of. Anne doesn't marry Gilbert Blythe until book five and she meets him pretty much at the beginning of book one.

Look-I love clothes and make up and boys and popularity. I played with Barbie's and My Little Ponies and walked around in my mother's high heels. But my parents also let me play with the bag of organs in the Thanksgiving turkey because they wanted to encourage my dream of becoming a veterinarian. I have observed over and over that being the SMART girl in a pair of great heels will get you way, way further than playing the dumb girl in any kind of clothing.

So yesterday at the party, I found myself saying to the little females-tiny girls really-"oh you are so cute, but you are also so smart!" Cheesy? For sure. Possibly unnecessary at 2 and 3 years old? Maybe. But I met my nephew Brady tonight-the one we were eagerly awaiting in December-and these are the girls that Brady is going to hang out with. I want them to be the kinds of women who get up on Saturday morning and ride their bikes to the top of a mountain instead of taking pole dancing classes.

Watch out little future nieces, I will totally be the aunt who buys you a microscope.

Sisters!

Baby sister face

Oldest sister face

 I love being in a family.