Panther

I have been really spoiled with good visitors since I moved here. My friend Rudy was in town for work last week and into the weekend. He had all his evenings free so we got to hang out quite a bit. We had lots of interesting conversations about politics and religion and relationships while trying good restaurants, seeing James Bond, shopping and hitting up a show last night. We had a lot of fun. One highlight for me is that Rudy is a serious internet sleuth and he managed to find and download all seven episodes of the Friday Night Lights season currently airing only on DirecTV. I had only seen the first two episodes at a friend's house before I decided that imposing on people who didn't watch the show was going to get old.

I have said this before and I will say it again-this is one of the greatest television shows of ever. It got a little off track last season in it's quest to get more viewers and the first episode of this season felt a little uneven as well. I was worried. But I've spent the last two days laughing and crying and feeling like I was at a family reunion. High drama is gone and we just have our quiet little Dillon, Texas back.

Winter is coming and if you are looking for something to do with your long, chilly evenings, go to Target or put Season One of FNL in your Netflix cue and catch up. This DirecTV season will be on NBC in February and it's well written, beautifully shot and the acting is stellar. It's totally worth getting hooked.

The music on the show is always so great too, one of my favorite finds from these last few episodes is this one by Scott Matthews.

Offering

Katie made a really great point that with Thanksgiving so late we really won't get the full amount of Christmas music listening time. So that means I should really start on my mixes this weekend.

And since some of you have expressed interest in getting your hands on one, you can send an email to the address on my profile. But be warned, no artist is off the table when it comes to holiday music.

Special

I really, really love Christmas music. I like the traditional hymns and carols, I like modern interpretations of old songs, I like new christmas songs as long as they aren't just lame pop songs with Christmas lyrics. During the holiday season I listen to so much Christmas music that I almost irritate myself with all the good cheer.

However! I hold fast to my mother's rule that you DON'T PLAY CHRISTMAS MUSIC UNTIL THANKSGIVING. So it was with a certain amount of dismay that I discovered the radio station here in Boston that has already started it's "all christmas all the time" rotation way, way too early. Imagine how torn I was last night when I turned on the car and heard the lovely beginning strains of Nat King Cole's "Christmas Song"-a song that is not only perfect and timeless on it's own but still has the power to make me feel like I am seven years old and watching my mother put that record on the turntable and oh it's the most wonderful time of the year!!!-and while my heart was all ready to give in and start singing and charging down nostalgia lane, my mind was saying, "no no no!! it's not time! it's NOT TIME! I AM NOT READY!". It was awful. I had to change stations because I can't possibly taint such a perfect song with so much internal conflict. As much as I wanted to go home and start dusting off my playlists and getting my mixes ready (I might even send one to a lucky reader or two) I knew that in this world of instant gratification, I want to stand firm on my decision to wait. I want to save my ears so that when the time is right, I can properly enjoy U2 covering "Baby Please Come Home" and driving through the snow to "Valley Winter Song" by Fountains of Wayne. I want The Oak Ridge Boys Christmas album to feel as special as it always did when I memorized every word as a kid. I get so excited thinking about Harry Connick Jr, and the MoTab Choir and that fantastic "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" that the Barenaked Ladies did with Sarah Mclachlan but I will hold out. I'm pretty sure it's totally going to be worth the wait.

Do you realize

Last weekend I was looking for some good sweaters to get my wardrobe ready for the long dark winter. There happened to be an American Eagle on the street so I popped in thinking they usually have cute winter things and that's when it happened. I realized that I am too old for American Eagle. And not in a "oh sad! I'm not cool enough anymore" kind of way but in a "ugh, I hate this place and I would rather have one nice piece from J. Crew then four from here" kind of way. And in a year when I'm feeling my age way more then I want to, it's kind of nice to have those moments where I feel like the good kind of adult.

(Thankfully I'm also the kind who rushed home from the gym to watch Gossip Girl so there's that too.)

Holly Berries

Just bought my tickets home to Utah for the holidays. It will be delightful to see everyone but mostly it will be good to see this guy.

New Edition

Several members of my family have joined the blog world recently.

My mom is blogging about her spectacular garden. You seriously have to see it to believe it-her yard looks like she's got an entire staff.

My brother Christopher is blogging about Urban Planning and it's terribly interesting stuff if you like things like the earth and ways to make it better.

And my brother Logan is blogging about life in general.

That makes seven of us with blogs. We are taking over the world you see.

Royalty

My musical preferences are all over the board. The last few purchases in my iTunes include K-os, DJ Antoine, Martin Sexton, Brett Dennen, Leona Naess, Bill Conti, Ryan Adams and Adele. I like a little bit of just about anything. But I have this photo of me when I was just old enough to sit up, on the floor in front of my pops playing his electric guitar. The foundations of my education were built by a guy who liked to rock.

So while I adore my swedish pop and my hip hop and my singer/songwriter friends, give me guitars, give me drums, give me loud music through giant speakers and I am a happy, happy girl. Kings of Leon is such a band and their newish album Only by Night is just chock full of songs that will fill up your whole body. I found this live version of "Use Somebody"-it's rich and full and the lyrics are pleading and the guitars are insistent and it's about to make me go tear it up on the five miler I feel like I need today. I really recommend you watch this with your speakers up as high as possible. Songs like this are the reason groupies exist.

Rock

Although I've been planning to vote for Barack Obama for quite a long time now, I wasn't prepared to be as emotional as I was last night and continue to be today. Watching his beautiful family come onto the stage last night I burst into tears. I had some things I wanted to say but I feel like my sister and my dad both did it better.

I hope that regardless of who you voted for, we can all send our prayers and good thoughts to the man who will be leading us for the next four years. It's an unstable world right now and he will need all the help he can get.

Tears of Joy

Hooray for Change. I am awake too late and should be doing other things but I sat and watched President Obama make a really wonderful and inspiring speech tonight. I'm ready to see what he's got in store for us.

V-O-T-E

I'm so excited to vote tomorrow. I hope you are too.

I brought some work home from the office and although I'm not that excited about doing it, I did get in a workout and a good episode of Gossip Girl and I get to listen to whatever I want while I do it.

Tonight it's all Ryan Adams and the Cardinals. The new album came out this week and I'm so in love.

This song is super sexy people, 5 seconds into it I was hooked.



I realize that I have what borders on an unhealthy attachment to Mr. Adams but seriously! Listen to this stuff!!

And then get up early and VOTE!

You Betcha

I decided to take advantage of the many comparisons I've gotten to Tina Fey over the last year or so and I did this for Halloween

More gems from last night

Yep

I'm one of those aunts.



OK, so Morgan in his Halloween costume is silly cute. But I love this video because it pretty much tells you what kind of family we are. The last 20 seconds are awesome.

Secret Garden

There was a decree put out by my father when I was a wee one that all tiny females in our house would be of the piggy tail wearing variety for as long as possible. I was happy to oblige and for most of my formative years I was a staunch long haired girl. I loved it. I used to put it in hot rollers every. single. day of high school. Then about a week before graduation I decided I wanted short hair with my cap and gown and I made my mother hack most of it off. That was 14 years ago and I've been a shortie ever since. And I like it just fine thank you very much.

But. I will confess that sometimes after a little too much Gossip Girl I fantasize a bit about having long flowing locks again. So I admit that tonight when I bought the brown wig I am using for my Halloween costume (you'll see), I might have spent kind of a silly amount of time playing with it in front of the mirror. I love my short hair but there is something super girly about a nice cascade down your back.

On

The best part about my last entry is that three members of my family had to ask if I was coming to Utah for the weekend.

Nope.

I went to California to play with this baby

And see this family

And play with these friends


And watch these two get married.


I didn't take enough pictures, I drank too much Diet Coke, I thought about pretty much everything. It was a fairly perfect weekend.

Off

I am taking a little vacation for the next few days. Getting on a plane to go watch some friends get hitched, hold a baby, hang with family, stay up too late with friends, eat some good food, see a couple of bridges, take more photos then I need and enjoy weather that doesn't freeze my bones.

I'll leave you with this old song that came on in the car tonight and made me even more excited about the next few days of doing nothing but connecting. Hip hip!

Pavement

So did anyone else come for the political funny on SNL last night and stay for the Adele???

I have listened to this song at least twenty times today.
Chasing Pavements

Soul

My friend Jed loves Donny Hathaway. When he was at my house a few weeks ago, he introduced me to this version of "You've Got A Friend" featuring Donny and Roberta Flack. I got lots of lovely calls and messages and votes of confidence from many, many good friends this week and feel beyond blessed at all the fantastic people in my life right now. Thanks to so many of you for making me feel so loved during a bit of a rough spot. Things are looking way up.

Here you go, your new favorite song.

Found

I was admiring my baby sister's Flickr page and I come across an old photo titled
Katie is singing along to George Michaels

Oh yes I am.

Who Who

Corey sent me this for my birthday. So radical.

Eve

In about four hours, I will be 32 years old. That seems so old when I say it out loud. It also sounds really old when you hear yourself saying it to the 25 year old boys that make up the bulk new fall crop in your ward. Roast.

To be perfectly frank, I'm not sad to see 31 go. I was just reading some of my restless "what am I doing with my life?" posts from the fall of 2007 and I realize now that I definitely, definitely set myself up for a pretty humbling year. I don't think you can ask the universe for an opportunity to grow without accepting that it might just knock you right over first.

And so tonight, I'm doing something a bit unusual for me and for this blog and I'm writing a fairly religious post. I am usually fairly private about this kind of stuff because it's so personal. But I feel like I can't write in any honest away about the way I'm feeling about this last year without it. So off I go. You've been fairly warned!

It's not a big secret that this year has been a tough one. And I say that with the full acknowledgement that I have a very good life and have been blessed in more ways then I can count. I understand that many of my struggles seem awfully superficial in the face of poverty and war and economic despair. So I am keeping my year of personal disappointment and struggle in perspective. That said, I started crying about something last Saturday morning and I have been at it on some level every since. I'm worn out from a year of wanting a change, praying for a change, holding my breathe through job interviews, major decisions about a move that was evenly split between pros and cons, the move itself and all the mixed emotions, seven months in a city I just can't seem to gel with like I want to, family and friends that are almost all too far away and a job that I am not rocking like I am used to rocking. I'm worn out and tired of hearing myself complain about it in conversations with friends and blog posts and certainly tired of whining about it in my prayers pretty much every night.

So yesterday in church, the Second Counselor in our Bishopric and his wife spoke. It's always a treat to hear her speak-she was a big time journalist for years until they got married and she decided to leave her job to raise a couple of cute cute kids. She's a good speaker anyway but since she got married when she was a little older and had a great career before that, her talks resonate particularly well with me. She basically talked about how being a good kid and doing everything right and trying your best doesn't mean that life will always be smooth sailing. Which is something I think most of us get intellectually but then when we find ourselves in the midst of a major trial it feels like "why is this happening to me?? I'm trying so hard! I'm doing what You asked!" And then it's really easy to just feel like you've been left alone. At least it is for me. She talked a lot about learning from these dark hours and shared a story about a chicken hatching exhibit she took her kids to a few weeks ago. As they watched the little chickie struggle to get out of her shell her daughter turned to her with big sad eyes and said, "we have to help her mommy!" And of course she had to explain like many, many mothers have to four years olds the world over that the chick needs to get out of that shell on it's own if it's going to be able to grow up healthy and strong. I've been wondering today how many times in my life I will find myself back in that shell and thinking about how I want to make sure every time I learn a little bit more about how to crack out of it. She closed her talk just reminding us that the Lord really doesn't leave us alone but sometimes it's up to us to quiet down so we can hear His voice. I cried through the whole talk. And not just a little bit-the big heaving sort of crying that you can't pass off as being tired or having something in your eye. I'm sure there were plenty of folks in the room that appreciated her talk but it felt kind of like she was talking right to me.

I really tried to have a quiet day today but I have this overactive brain and I just got so overwhelmed by work and life that I ended up at my friend Matt's house pouring out my guts to a guy who has been a wonderfully wise ear and shoulder since my first Boston tour of duty. He ended up giving me a blessing and it was like peace and calm could finally find a way into my chaos. I came home feeling like there are still a lot of question marks and things to worry about but I feel certain of God's nearness in my life, of His concern for me and His willingness to help when I ask for it.

People sometimes say that religion is a crutch and I guess to that I say, well OK, I'll take a crutch if that's what I need to go from feeling desperately sad to wildly hopeful and peaceful in the space of a few hours.

31 was really hard. Productive, growing, stretching, but hard. I'm ready for 32 to be less dramatic.

I'm leaving you with a performance of one of my very favorite religious songs. I've always loved the lines

"Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love, Here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above"

Shelter

I cannot for the life of me understand people who pay good money to go to a concert and then proceed to heckle the artist and generally behave like idiots. And here's a tip, if you only know one of his songs, don't go to the show and start yelling for that song 10 minutes in. It's the big hit, he's going to play it, but some of us are what we call "fans" and we'd like to just let the man play.

I went to see Ray Lamontagne at the Boston Opera House tonight. Beautiful venue, sold out crowd, I made friends with the cute little Spanish tourists sitting next to me-it was such a perfect beginning. And then it felt like someone let a bunch of drunken junior high school kids loose all over the place. There were people shouting non-stop for his major hit pretty much right after the first song. Then there were probably five or six jerks in the balcony who were mimicking the way he sang and the couple in front of me having a conversation at full volume during a quiet song when the place was otherwise silent. Finally, the loudest offender was escorted out by security and when someone yelled, "let him play what he wants," and the audience cheered I think it sent a message to shut. thehell. up. But even at the encore, Ray himself stopped playing a few bars in and asked that someone in the front row be thrown out. I was as mad as a little hornet and felt especially embarrassed after the show when my new friends told me that in Spain, "nobody cries at the singer."

Who ARE these people??? Do we not know the difference between a performance and a baseball game?

Make

I haven't been feeling particularly creative lately. I have a long mental list of things I want to write about and none of it is coming together like I want it to. I'm sorry, I have to jumpstart my brain and writing about music often does that for me. So we are playing i-pod shuffle today. 10 songs, in order, no skipping, a little blurb on each one.

1. A Change is Gonna Come-Sam Cooke

Who writes good protest songs anymore? It's one thing to take swipes at specific politicians and quite another to come up with something thoughtful and subtle. I am so tired of this election and all the hysteria coming from both sides. I am ready for everyone to stop talking and start acting. And although I think many of you know which way I am voting, I am pretty convinced that either candidate will be a refreshing change from the current yahoos (sorry dad.) Anyway, this song has great lyrics, Sam Cooke has such a smooth voice and in less then a month, change is comin' whether you like it or not.



2. Thank God I'm A Country Boy-John Denver

Some of the first things I can remember about my life are the times my dad would play John Denver and Neil Diamond songs on the guitar for my brother and me. There are several songs that I can still see him throwing back his head and singing with wild abandon-a characterisic my laid back dad rarely exhibits. Thank God I'm a Country Boy, Grandma's Feather Bed and Kentucky Woman are those songs. A few years ago pops gave me John Denver's greatest hits for my birthday and I knew every last word to this song even though I hadn't heard it in years. It's really too bad we lost Mr. Denver so early. Dude knew how to write a song.

*note, this is a fan video for the show "Alias" but whatever, the song is the point.


3. Falling-Ben Kweller

This might be one of my favorite love songs of all time. Doesn't it just seem like the perfect soundtrack to a romantic montage from some cheesy chick flick? Except that it's not cheesy, it's more like totally awesome? It just feels like the first little while when you like someone and everything they say is funny or brilliant and every text or call makes your head kind of explode in a good way. Like there are balloon launches happening in your stomach or something. That's what this song feels like. Internal exploding balloon launches.



4. The Hit Parade-Unkle Bob

Corey and I were driving somewhere in California and this song came on and I couldn't pay attention to what she was saying anymore. It's sad, he wants to forget her but also still kind of wants her to love him. I'll tell you that it was a perfect soundtrack for some of my favorite runs at Crystal Cove, a place I'm definitely still trying to get over.



5. Time After Time-Eva Cassidy

I've already posted about this song on this blog. So I'm letting you watch Cindy Lauper sing with Sarah McLachlan because they are both awesome. And anytime you add strings to a song that didn't have them before I am happy.



6. Dead Men's Will-Iron and Wine

YES! What a happy accident that this song means I get to talk about the fact that FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS IS BACK!!! This song was on some really sad scene in season one when both Tim Riggins and Matt Saracen were losing at life which is to say, I don't even remember specifically which episode it was. It's only on DirecTV this year which means I have to keep asking my friend with the Dish to let a few us come over to watch it but I feel like I'm amongst family again. The season premiere felt a little forced but last night's was right back to family drama and teen love and the boys on the field. My little show. I love you.



7. This Year's Love-David Gray

For about a year after my mission and a year of my time working for the Olympics I lived with two of my favorite girls in a cute little house on a cute little street in cute little Sugarhouse. I loved my job, I had a fun group of friends, I was dating for the first time in my life and I had this wonderful gigantic bedroom in the basement of our house. There are four or five albums from that time period that I played to death to death to death. White Ladder from David Gray was one of those CD's I wore through. My sister and I went to see him at Salt Air one night and made friends with a funny red haired kid who shared his M&M's with us and it was wonderful. I still listen to David Gray from time to time but it nearly always makes me feel homesick.



8. I See You, You See Me-The Magic Numbers

OH I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH! The Magic Numbers are two sets of brother-sister siblings (it will probably not surprise you that it would be a fantasy of mine to be in a band with my sibs and travel all over the world in a little musical bubble with in-laws and kids and puppies running about backstage)and they sound like heaven when you see them live. I put this song on a CD for my friend Emily a million years ago and knew we would be fast friends when she became as obsessed with it as I was. It makes me think of Boston in the fall which is terribly appropriate for today.



9. Meditate-INXS

In 12th grade a girl named Sarah moved into my ward from Modesto, California. She was living with her older sister who had a tall handsome husband and a beautiful baby and could pull off red lipstick. Sarah was like a fascinating alien to me. She dressed in vintage clothes and wore platform shoes and carried a purse instead of a backpack to school. She wanted to be a furniture designer and she made friends with all the dirty boys in the South Hall. Her last name was Italian and fun to say and she'd been to raves but was still a really good girl. She was beautiful and cool and incredibly confident and if I didn't feel like I fit in at school, Sarah DEFINITELY didn't fit in. But for some reason she and I hit it off at church her first Sunday and soon we were BFF like can happen in 20 seconds when you are a teenager. She was one of the girls that helped me realize there was probably life beyond the Wasatch Front and my 17 year old concerns for my future. The Valentine's Dance that year was a girl's choice but I didn't want to go and she didn't want to go so instead we went to the second concert of my life which was INXS at the Salt Palace. It felt all grownup and slightly dangerous to me to be at a rock concert while everyone our age was dancing awkwardly in the gym at school. I lost contact with Sarah after I went off to college and she drifted out of Utah. I like to think she's living in San Francisco in some beautiful space she designed herself, making furniture for her and lovely things for everyone around her. She was smart and creative and not afraid to be her outside the norm self and I think of her pretty much anytime I hear this song. It also has my name in it which is cool.



10. Miss Independent-Ne Yo

My friend Delvique's phone plays this song when you call her. I get her voicemail a lot so I've heard it through more then a few times and the lyrics kinda got me.

Ooh there's something about
Kinda woman that can do for herself
I look at her and it makes me proud
There's something about her

Something, ooh, so sexy about
Kinda woman that don't even need my help

She's got her own thing
That's why I love her

Come on, how could I resist a celebration of the independent girl? And whatever, it's the first Ne-Yo song to hit my iPod either. Leave me alone.




And there we go. I feel like a million times more creatively juicy then before!

Link

It's my mom's birthday today. And I can't top this.

Fox in Sox

I think I have made mention of the Fleet Foxes a few times in the last six months. I fell in love with them before I left California and have been dying to see them pretty much since first listen. So you might find it odd that although I carried around a page from the local paper announcing their October show for two months I never bothered to buy tickets. And by the time I did get around to it they were sold out. Fortunately a friend who saw them in New York this weekend talked me into just going to the venue anyway and I ended up tucked in the Sommerville Theater by my little self this evening for one of the more awesome live shows of ever.

It's kind of amazing that a bunch of guys who look kind of homeless can sound like an angel choir but hot damn they have got the most incredible harmonies. Which I know from listening to the album all summer but hearing them live was completely different. You know that feeling you get when someone whose hands you really like touches the back of your neck? That's what it felt like to me. These guys write the kind of music that feels like it's filling up all the space in your car or your room or the theater. You can actually feel yourself getting folded into it.

I've been really spoiled with music in the last few weeks. I'm trying to stay humble but the rest of the year will have it's work cut out for it.

Please download this and listen to it as loud as you can.
Blue Ridge Mountains

Sundance

I had a very nice weekend of running, catching up on the phone with friends, listening to conference, cleaning the house and sleeping in. It was heavenly. One of the highlights was finally watching the movie The Way We Were. I won't spoil it for anyone but here are a few observations:

1. Robert Redford is a very, very good looking man
2. I would take every piece of clothing in Barbara Streisand's wardrobe and wear them now
3. They just don't make movies like they used to

Here is Babs singing the theme song from the movie. That lady can sure sing.

Eerie

Two nights ago my friend and I got to talking about the band Sigur Ros and the country of Iceland. We talked about how awesome they are and we should go there to see what kind of a place inspires such creative music. He mentioned wanting to learn Icelandic.

The next morning, the Steep and Cheap email was all about Sigur Ros. My friend got an Amazon book suggestion about learning unusual languages and my email from the Anthrologie list today is a catalogue all shot in-you guessed it-Iceland.

It almost seems dumb not to get just get on a plane and see what the universe is so insistent about.

Face

I mentioned last week that somebody posted some high school dance photos on Facebook. I'm a little embarrassed to admit how much they got me thinking about those three weird years of my life. It scary true how much faster time goes by as you age but I remember being convinced that high school was going to last for the rest of eternity. That I would always feel awkward and unsure of myself, that I would never quite find a place where I fit, and that I would be wearing my braces until well into my thirties. My grades at the time would say that I was really good at school but my social calendar would show you that I never quite got the hang of that place. Adults would always tell me that I was probably the kind of kid that would do better in college and they were right. I do hope however that I remember how little that comforts a 16 year old girl who doesn't want to sit on the sidelines but has no idea how to get out there. I spent more time then I should have this weekend trying to figure out how to split the blame between myself and the other kids.

I've been fortunate over the years in that quite a few of the people I was intimidated by in high school have drifted back into my life for various reasons. It's always interesting to talk about how we all saw each other back then. I had one girl tell me that I seemed like a smart kid who wouldn't have wanted anything to do with the cheerleader crowd she was part of. I oten think that if I ever have teenagers, I hope they can have a better experience in those years then I did. I'm still not even convinced that I would have given up my endless months of play practice and Saturdays lost to debate meets (oh yeah people, it's like I was TRYING to drive 16 year old boys away) in exchange for dances and football games. Two thoughts kept coming back-I had younger siblings who were infinitely cooler then I was who still felt like they didn't have enough friends, or the right friends, or struggled with the myriad of other things that every teenager every feels regardless of social status (except maybe Blair Waldorf but even she has to watch out for Serena.) And two, when will I ever learn that the grown up me is pretty much a sum total of all the things that younger me had to deal with. You take away the braces and the unrequited crushes and I think you lose a lot what inspired that little girl to make a lot of plans for how her life was going to go. I hope hope hope I can remember that if I ever have a kid who isn't the picture of high school popularity. Which um, sorry potential future offspring, I pretty much guarantee is going to be the case if I've been your mother.

The truth is that fourteen years later I still don't always feel like I fit. My religious beliefs keep me a little separated from most of my peers but there are lots of things about my life that make me feel just a little bit out of the norm at church. But it's funny how that has gone from being something that made me feel so lonely to something that makes me feel lucky. Not being tied to one group has allowed me some freedom over the years and I've been able to piece together a pretty stellar collection of friends. Two weekends ago when Jed from SUU and Traci from HB came to visit and they hit it off with each other and with my current roommate, my heart almost burst from the awesomeness of watching all these parts of my life blend so splendidly. So I'll try to remember that next time I catch myself looking at someone else's glory days and feeling like I missed out.

Here's a song by OutKast that I love on the topic of being cool. Another good rainy day song on what it ANOTHER RAINY DAY IN BOSTON?? Who exactly where the crazy people that settled this place and why didn't they keep moving??

Open Letter

Dear world-

The word is anyway. Not anyways.

Thanks.

k8

Claim

My high school years have exploded all over Facebook in the past few weeks. Folks I haven't thought of in a million years are appearing in the "people you may know" tab. There is a post percolating in my brain about high school but I'm struggling to get the tone right. That's what the rainy weekend will be for since I'm still iffy on bike riding on slick roads.

The weather is definitely turning here and cold weather makes me both melancholy and nostalgic even without the internet hitting me over the head with faces from the past. One of the great things about the age of iTunes and the MP3 is that it's become a million times easier to reclaim songs with sad memory baggage attached to them. For years and years my heart would drop into my shoes every time I heard "Now That We Found Love" by Heavy D and the Boyz because of the part it played in the worst stomp of my high school career (for anyone who did not attend Cottonwood High School, stomps were the non-date dances. And they were either amazing or horrible, there was no middle ground. Because your crush either asked you to dance or he didn't. Period.) But then three or four years ago I bought it on iTunes and now I can listen to it without one bit of teen angst ruining the bass line. Which is good because I do love me some Heavy D (Is It Good To You and Nuttin' But Love being two of my early nineties favorites).

But there is a song that I can't seem to clean up no matter how many I listen to it. I hear the first five seconds and I am in rental car in Chicago, completely broken hearted over a boy, listening to a voicemail message from my friend Emily and finding this song on what felt like every single station in the whole city. I adore Chicago, my event went well that weekend and I had some of the best sushi of my life one of my nights there but it's like I couldn't escape this damn song. But I really liked it so I would catch myself listening to it anyway. And now, even though that boy is long gone and so are those feelings, I can't shake that pit in my stomach when it starts up. Since I'm a sucker for a good melodramatic moment though I keep it in the old iPod....

Anyway, I guess rainy days + too much high school on the brain = Tim McGraw and Nelly

Naughty

Every few weeks they offer 15 minute chair massages at my office. I woke up Saturday morning with a couple of knots that I still haven't managed to get rid of so I signed up. As the therapist was working out one of the little buggers she mentioned that the body is divided up into sections sort of like the brain is. The area of my back where all my knots have taken us residence?

"Men and business."

Yikes.

Simplify

Sometimes there is just nothing quite as awesome as a low key evening to yourself. I was working on a five year budget plan presentation all day and it pretty much fried my brain. I really should have gone straight to the gym but by the time my boss and I finished dotting all the i's on the thing it was already 7:00. This little scatterbrain left her workout bag at home this morning and I figured by the time I went home to eat something and change clothes there was little chance I would get back out the door on a chilly Wednesday night.

So instead, I went to the grocery store and bought the ingredients for my favorite meal of all time and came home and cooked to the musical stylings of Dolly Parton, Amos Lee, Jeff Buckley and The Bee Gees. Then I settled in to watch one of the old episodes of Friends I have filled my Tivo with since I discovered that TBS runs them twice a day. And THEN I took a long, hot, nighttime shower and am now happily blogging wrapped up in a blanket and towel on the couch. Anyone who has ever lived with me will tell you that the towel is pretty much my favorite article of clothing. And now with the weather getting cold, I top that off with a big fluffy blankie and I am pretty much the happiest, warmest little creature on the planet right now.

Speaking of things I love, the other night a friend was over and we were playing "do you know this song" with my laptop and his iPhone. He'd never heard of Jeff Buckley, I wrong I was quick to right. I don't want that to happen to any of you. This song is beautiful anyway but Buckley had a voice that is otherworldly.

Last Goodbye

And I'm for one last simple pleasure of the night, my clean white sheets and eight hours of sleep.

Animal House

Friday night I got to have dinner with one of my dear friends from college and her little family. It doesn't matter how many of my friends get married and have babies, it still amazes me every single time I meet husbands and kidlets that girls I used to giggle about boys with in college are now someone's mommy. I am turning 32 in three weeks and continue to believe that I'm way too young for this to be my life. It was really fun to see Jennie and meet her cute husband Rick and ADORABLE baby Max.


So I was maybe feeling a bit nostalgic anyway as I headed into my weekend and off to run our sponsorship booth at this year's Farm Aid Show. I don't typically get super star struck but sitting at the Press Conference and seeing these guys all together on stage was pretty heady for anyone who loves American Music.

(that's Willie Nelson, Neil Young, John Mellencamp and Dave Matthews for anyone who has lived in a cave for the last 40 years)
Once upon a time I used a person's feelings about the Dave Matthews Band as a barometer for my feelings for that person. I bought his CD's at midnight release parties, my sister and I drove hundreds of miles to see them perform, I crossed my own professional boundaries and begged a boss to use his connections to get me good seats at a show one time-I really, really loved this band. Over the years though I wasn't loving the new releases so much and there was so much other great music out there that I kind of lost interest in DMB. It didn't hurt that they become the artist of choice for a lot of real tools and were no longer a very good personality gauge. I quit listening around the same time I moved to California the first time and a lot of things in my life were changing. My friend Derick had told me about a hundred times that one of the great things about moving to a new city all alone was that you really got a chance to know yourself. When you don't have many friends and you are still settling into a job you have a lot of free time and you get to know what you like to do/think/feel/watch/read/listen to when no one is watching. That's when I got serious about running, discovered Radiohead and starting liking artsy boys. I felt like a new person and in a lot of ways, I distanced myself from many things I had cared about before. I'm still not sure why I felt like I had to roll my eyes at things I had once liked in order to prove I was growing.

I've gotten a wee bit more mature since then I think. I hope. Last night I stepped away from the booth for a few minutes to catch Dave's part of the show. Hearing his voice live for the first time in probably seven years actually got me a little choked up. It felt so familiar and comforting. So today I've been basking in old DMB memories. Here's a favorite.
Grey Street

Average

So I'm hanging out with these guys tonight









Yep, Chris Botti, Sting, Steven Tyler, Yo Yo Ma are all playing with the Boston Pops tonight. And even if you hate Aerosmith or you think Sting hasn't written a good song since The Police broke up, I think you can still appreciate that this is one going to be one hell of a good night of music. And a really good excuse to get dressed up on a Thursday. Pretty much my favorite kind of evening.

OMG

I am becoming one of those people! The ones who get photos of their nephew and have to go show everyone in the office. But I don't know how anyone can't expect me to behave when stuff like THIS
shows up in my mailbox in the middle of the day. Are you joking? Do I really think it's cool to live 2500 miles from THAT LITTLE FACE AND THOSE SKINNY SKINNY FROG LEGS? Everytime I look at him I think "my little brother who used to have a bowl cut and be scared of the moon MADE that. He's that guy's DAD." I love it that he's such a perfect mix of both parents. He's got his mom's lips and his dad's lashes but he's also looking like his own person.
Oh I love this baby.

Horoscope

So many of you know that I have a crush/slight obsession with the daily emails from the website Steep and Cheap. Last night's edition made me laugh right out loud because seriously, I think the writer and I really just need to get married. Two overly dramatic worriers in one house sounds like a real treat doesn't it?

A squirrel broke in one day and it wouldn't leave. It was sitting in my friend's cereal bowl eating Peanut Butter Capn' Crunch with one hand and rubbing the top of its head with the other. Too much contact with humans had taken away its fear, so the animal would just sit and stare at you while you waved your hands in the air trying to scare it back out the window. Later I would worry that by letting it live we would be the cause of a massive squirrel migration into human domiciles, or at least a squirrel rapture on the scale of Hitchcock's The Birds. I was afraid this squirrel would tell its friends that humans were nothing to be feared, and then the animals would roam our homes with impunity. Turns out it wasn't that big of a deal and I'd grossly over dramatized the problem. Kind of like pretty much everything else I've ever worried about.

The Wagon

I think there are six women in the entire United States who feel completely comfortable with their bodies. I don't know any of them personally and I think four of them are supermodels anyway. Even the kind of smart, successful, down-to-earth women I generally surround myself with and who really do know better can give you five things about themselves they wish they could change. There are varying degrees of course and as we get older and smarter most of get our teenage body image hysteria pretty much under control and manage to knock it pretty far down on the priority list.

That said, most of us still care what we look like and nearly all of us care about what we FEEL like. So when I did that cleanse um, two short months ago, it was about 20% motivated by how I was going to look and 80% how I was going to feel. The cleanse delivered on both counts and I was thrilled. So it is with much regret that I admit how hard I fell off the wagon. I won't get graphic but let's just say that there was enough Diet Coke in my veins this weekend to keep the entire freshman class at Harvard awake through finals week. I had peanut M & M's for breakfast on Saturday. And ladies and gentlemen, I feel like some kind of junkie. I have always believed in the close connection between your physical health and your emotional/spiritual health but whoo boy is it pretty crystal clear right now. You would think I would learn this lesson from marathon training or being diligent about sleep or eating healthy but no, the motivation to make true lifestyle changes is coming because I had a candy hangover yesterday.

This experience is nothing compared to true addictions that people struggle with but I do find that I'm feeling a little bit more sympathetic to those around me trying to make big changes. It's hard. Even when you know it's the right thing.

As for me, I'm back. Not back on the cleanse, but back to applying the lessons I kinda thought I already learned. It's possible for little miss "I had to come back to a city I already lived in to get it right", this is just the way it goes....

Stolen

Check out the eyelashes on this kid!!! I almost want to put him in a dress.

Oh gosh I love this little face.

Peace Train

My house is spotless, my professional idol was hilarious in the opening sketch on SNL last night, my roommate and I had our first joint party and it was super fun, I got to play hostess to a dear old friend and a wonderful new friend this weekend, Bon Iver sounds perfect on a rainy sunday night, all signs point to a good night's sleep and I found out today that two of my favorite ladies just became second time mommies (lots of love to the The Oversons and the Bischoffs!!!).





Plus, there is SO much Dolly and Kenny on YouTube.



(My heart skips a little beat when she says "what is it Kenny?")

Ride

I was reading an article today about what celebs had in their backstage riders for the VMA's so I was thinking about what I would want in my dressing room if I was a big star.

-vase of fresh flowers in bright colors
-one Jo Malone Pomegranate Noir Home Candle
-CD player or iPod dock
-big bowl of peanut m and m's
-Stacy's Simply Naked and Cinnamon Sugar Pita Chips
-Selection of Odwalla Juices and Polar Cranberry Lime Soda
-a tray of chopped vegetables
-bowl of grapes
-an internet connection (because duh, I would be a celeb blogger you guys)
-and probably some doughnuts. because it's friday afternoon and I just really, really want a doughnut.

See? I'm not too demanding.

Apparently LL Cool J asked for 24 long stemmed roses with individual water tubes which frankly creeped me right now. Exactly how many groupies are you entertaining Mister?

Roots

For most of my teenager years, my favorite thing to do when my dad would talk about country music was to roll my eyes and make gagging sounds. He would call it "the music of the people" and I would say, "yeah, the music of the STUPID people."

So I guess it's kind of funny that there is a distinct twang in a lot of what I like these days. Ryan Adams and Wilco and Ray Lamontagne sound a lot more like Willie Nelson then Bon Jovi or whatever I was listening to when I was 14.

But even as I was making fun of my father's taste, I always felt guilty about a little secret obsession from my past. When I was probably 6 or 7 I had a compilation tape that I LOVED. Like would listen to over and over and over and make up dances and try to learn every single word. I don't know who gave it to me and what ever became of it but to this day, I can still sing a lot of the songs and vaguely remember some of the "choreography". I was goofing around on YouTube this weekend and I dug up a few of the standouts from that tape. Maybe I do have a little Idaho in me after all.


Oh Alabama. I would shake my head at my dad for liking country and THIS was one of my favorites? This thing is practically wearing overalls and driving a tractor it's so country. Whatever, I also love "If You're Gonna Play in Texas" and "Song of the South" and I don't care what anyone thinks.



I really DO love a rainy night.



Um, I'm sorry, are there any songs more awesome then the Devil Went Down to Georgia? I remember being SO proud of myself when I learned every last lyric to this. Also, I'm really sorry Pops that I quit the violin before I ever learned to play this song. And also really sorry to any future offspring but it's possible YOU might have to right that cosmic wrong.



Another thing my dad really loves? Pigtails on little girls. I always had long hair when I was a wee one and for a long time I wanted to grow it out just like Crystal Gale. But I was a little freaked out at the prospect of my brown eyes going blue.


I don't know how old I was before I finally found out that Kenny and Dolly weren't actually married to each other. And seriously, they don't come better then Dolly Parton. That women is f-a-b-u-l-o-u-s.


No wonder I am so awesome. One of my first favorite songs was The Gambler for crying out loud. The Gambler!!

Here's a little bonus Dolly Parton for you because I'm no longer afraid to admit it-I LIKE COUNTRY MUSIC YOU GUYS.

Scrub

I called in sick today. I had every intention of getting a bunch of work done here at home but I ended up pretty much sleeping it off the whole day.

Sleeping and now watching Scrubs! Oh how I love this show. It's always fun and really often sweet too. I think there are four episodes on in a row right now so hooray for syndication!

It's definitely fall in Boston, the air is getting chilly and my car is starting to be covered in leaves every morning. I'm working on a fall mix right now but to get through it I will have to stop putting this particular song on repeat....Jen's Lekman's Farewell Song to Rocky Dennis

It feels like a perfect song for curling up on the couch and finally starting the book I bought a month ago.

Favor

**I'm posting this here for my friend Jane who is looking for a song for her daughter's dance competition. As a music junkie I can't take a challenge like this sitting down but I'm coming up a little empty. I keep flashing back to that scene in The Cutting Edge where they are fighting over whether to use classical or rock and they keep turning the music up louder and louder and louder as they get madder and madder. Awesome. Anyway, the task at hand-any thoughts?

attn: music junkies

I am searching for a song. It must be super right.
Kiana and her adorable dance friend Isabel are both 10 years old. They have been performing/competing duo's together in dance almost every year since they were both 6 years old!

This year, we really want something fresh and new.

It must be age appropriate which excludes all songs with any bad language, mature themes, etc.

I dislike super-themed little girly songs.

I'm looking for humor, something that would have a strong less-obvious story to it, but a great humorous story could be choreographed to it.

Did you all watch SYTYCD this past season?

I LOVED Napoleon & Tabitha's work, every time they choreographed.

But, this will not be a hip hop piece like theirs.

It will be more of a jazzy/contemporary piece. For you non-dance readers, that is not modern. Contemporary is more of a newer-trendier jazz...

I would be VERY happy with upbeat suggestions...
I love old songs made new...
I love instrumental remakes of old songs...

Please suggest!!! I need the community of bloggers to throw out ideas!

Feel free to give ideas on the choreography, costumes...
these girls will be competing in the NYCDA {New York City Dance Alliance}
competitions this year and we want something completely original!

A great choreographer will be doing it, but I need somewhere to start!

Zip

OH MY GOSH I AM WATCHING KELLY TAYLOR ON TELEVISION AGAIN!!!

I gave in and I'm watching the new 90210. I can't decide if it's awesome or if it's a disaster. But Kelly Taylor! Weird weird weird that Lori Laughlin is playing the Cindy Walsh character. Am I old?

OK and I am not admitting anything here but maybe I watched ten episodes of The OC over the weekend too.

Fox in Sox

The season is almost over but I finally made it to a game. Perfect weather, great seats on the third baseline, Fenway Franks, and cute boys in front of us. Bliss.

Copycat

**this post inspired by my sister's September 2 entry**

A few months ago I got in a really stupid and immature fight with someone who meant a lot to me. We are both a little stubborn and we ended up not speaking for quite a long time. A few weeks ago I got a message from him out of the blue and a few sincere apologies later, he's back to being one of my favorite ways to burn free long distance minutes.

This particular friend had actually dated a roommate of mine years ago and I hardly knew him at the time. He ended up resurfacing right as all my job upheaval was happening and was a very steadying influence through much of that exhausting experience. I guess it's all just part of my continued surprise at how little we understand about the way things in our life are going to turn out. Who will be significant, who will just be making a cameo, which decisions will matter a little and which ones will matter a lot. These last few months and years of nomadic singleness have been so fun and so exciting but they have not been particularly peaceful. This weekend I was remembering some past Labor Day events and wondering what this one will look like in three or four years.

One of my favorite songs on the subject is the Joni Mitchell classic "Both Sides Now". It's a great song but made about a million times better when you compare the version from 1970 to the one she released a few years ago.





This song makes more sense every time I hear it.

payback

I got SO MUCH SLEEP this weekend. It was awesome.

And now it's 1:30 on a school night and I am not one bit tired.

Woops.

weeks end

Quite a week. Big changes at work. All good things but I'm worn out. Very excited for a three day weekend. Although I will never complain about having been in Spain for the 4th of July, it does mean I haven't had a holiday since Memorial Day. It's TIME!

Here are a few songs I can't get enough of lately.





(no i am not joking about the last one)

Go Obama!

While it's Hot

So my company is clearing out summer merch and we have a TON of stuff that is 50% off on our website.

*this is now a link, thanks Dainon. www.tretorn.com in case it's not working.

You could get these super cute rubber boots for $28 people.


Or these itty bitties perfect for your favorite nephew for $18


or these leather beauties that are kind of a steal at $48


and ladies, these are every bit as cute in real life as you think they would be. For $30!!!


Anyway, we don't go on sale very often and sadly unless you live in major coastal city it's hard to find us in stores. So here's a chance to get super cool shoes that not everyone who went to Urban Outfitters this weekend will have.

The Key

I got some sad news this weekend. A sorority sister from college was killed in a plane crash you might have read about. She was a freshman when I was a junior and was part of pledge class I dearly loved. I haven't seen her in years but I've kept track of her through mutual friends. She leaves behind a two year old daughter and a mom who also lost her ex-husband in the accident.

Although this isn't a close loss, I've spent all day thinking about all the people I love and how much more important they are then anything else in my life right now. I want to be kinder, more loving, less self-absorbed. Just better I guess. This song sorta sums it up

I'm praying for Cecilee's family tonight. She will be missed.

The Last

Well here it is, summer's second to last gasp of a weekend. Even though I spent two of my work days in Rhode Island doing this


I'm really ready to spend the weekend outside as much as possible. Starting with dinner alfresco tonight with one of the latest in a rash of Bostonians we are losing to the West Coast.

*sigh*, summer I hardly knew ye.

Mr. Clean

(I'm listening to this while I blog today)

I've been anxious to write about the three week cleanse experiment since I think I told everyone who would hold still about it...

A total and complete screaming success. Not because my skin feels clearer and brighter and I bought smaller pants this weekend...but because I just feel so much better. I thought when I was done that I'd be so anxious to eat all of the things that I cut out-but now more moderately-but I have been surprised at how much I'm still sticking to the plan. I keep thinking that if I'm sleeping better and feeling great and looking good, do I really need the sugar and caffeine back?

One of the really clear objectives for me was to pay attention to why and when I eat the things that I do. All too often I use food as a reward or a consolation prize. So I'm working on dealing with that kind of stuff in a healthier way. As my friend Brooke once said, "the boy who broke your heart is NOT at the bottom at that Ben and Jerry's carton."

All the benefits of being a better eater became clear this weekend though when I fell right off the wagon. Some old friends were in town and we spent Friday and Saturday eating out way through this town. We went to Mike's pastries and had cannoli's, ate lots of Thai food, we got gelato, we stopped at Kimball Farms for their famous ice cream, ate at Anna's Taqueria again after a long hiatus. I woke up Sunday morning with the closest thing to a hangover I have ever had. I felt sluggish, my face was all puffy-I was a mess. I had eight people over for dinner that night and I almost didn't touch the pasta dish in favor of the spinach salad and the fresh fruit.
There is certainly a place in my life for a cannoli now and then and I'm definitely not an advocate for total deprivation. But I'm much happier when I'm a bit more in control over what and when I decide to let certain foods take control of me.

The book I followed is a good read regardless of whether you need a "cleanse" or not.
She talks about wellness in general and it goes much deeper then just what you eat. Exercise, spirituality, service, even having fun-they are all important parts of being "well". I'm totally converted.

Now for my next challenge I might copy my sister again and try ONE HUNDRED PUSHUPS! (no i won't.)

If

You have dinner with a table full of photographers, you might play "what can I use as a light filter at this table?"wine bottle
water glass
frisbee (don't ask)
candle holder

Merry Go Round

Words I overuse the most, "I can do______ when life calms down a bit." And then I have a week that goes, come home from Utah, go to all day strategy meetings, clean my house, whirlwind three days with out of town guests, leave guests at dinner table Sunday night to drive to photoshoot in Rhode Island, shoot-shoot-shoot, drive home, thrown in laundry, run to the office, dinner plans to give friend wedding present I've had in my car for six weeks.

I want/need to write people! Which I will. You know, when life calms down a bit.

larrybird

OK, I'll stop with the baby talk since the kid doesn't even belong to me but I can't resist a few more photos from my trip to meet him. I don't know if he has any idea how many people love him but I'm afraid the guy will never learn to walk since he pretty much spends his days being passed around by a mob of relatives.

I knew I loved him the day he was born but now that I've held him and smelled his little neck and giggled at the spindliness of his legs and wondered if he's going to swim like his uncle or bike like his dad or throw a baseball like his momma, if his eyes will be Clifford or Archuletta, he is real. I looked through my photos in the cab last night and got the kind of weepy homesick that makes me feel like I'm a freshman in college again. He's going to be smiling soon and I can't believe I'm not going to see it. He'll grow out of his Tom Waits onesies and into his Tretorn tennies before I get to whisper secrets in his baby ears about the stuff I'll let him do when he comes to visit me in a few years.

I know he's not the first baby ever born but he's our first and thus, he's our best. He's our favorite. He's the cutest. He's the snuggliest. He smells the best. Other littles will come along and we'll love them just as much and they'll get smothered in attention I'm sure. But Morgan, you will always be our first, the one we will all practice on. I'm really glad you picked us.
Sweetie face.
Aunties
Sleepy guy.
Great Grandma. (Please bless I look this good when I'm a great grandma)
mommy. glam mommy who wears earrings and lipstick and looks amazing three weeks after baby. Woot!
Broken Arm Auntie.
Daddy.
Uncle.
Aunt k8. Already planning his trips to come see me.

Vote or Die

I can't get enough of this stuff.

This Guy

So...nephew is totally amazing. I'll be back once I tear myself away from him.

Once

There will come a day when I manage to pack for a trip AND get a decent night's sleep but this is not that day.

No middle seat please.

Christmas Eve

I am a fairly excitable person and there are lots of things that get me all worked up(good and bad) but I can't remember the last time I was this anxious.

I get to meet my nephew in TWENTY FOUR HOURS!!!!

I'm so excited!

Day 14

Two weeks is apparently how long you need to stop craving Diet Coke. Aside from the giant ones with seven limes each that all my friends were drinking at dinner last week, I really feel like I don't even miss it.

I still have a week to go but I have to say-I feel really good. I am sleeping more soundly and looking more rested and I don't crash in the afternoon like usual. I also think I just generally look brighter and healthier.

One week to go although I might have to modify just a bit since I'm traveling for work this week. I'm going to start a petition to get Whole Foods into the Logan Airport.

Yes

We DID go on a Guns and Roses Tribute Band Harbor Cruise this weekend.




And maybe it was totally as awesome as you think it was.